Giving up

Hi iv joined here as i do feel very lonely at the moment.i lost my partner 6 months ago in a car accident he just left for work that night and never came back.it has devastated me iv cried everyday since.i feel giving up all the time but i cant as i have the children to think about i really dont know what to do anymore

Hello Michi
I am so very sorry that you lost your partner in such a way. …it must have been the most awful shock and it will take you time to accept all that has happened. Feeling lonely and unable to see a way forward is unfortunately part of grieving and perhaps you have been so busy looking after your children that you have not given yourself enough attention…none of us are ever prepared for this journey and we all need all the help that there is so please think about counselling or seeing your doctor.
Reading the posts on here may also help a little and reassure you that others feel the same…it’s a rough old journey that we are on and it’s not easy ! Do try to take care of yourself and keep posting.x because many of the lovely people using this site will reach out to you…keep strong and believe in yourself. X

Thank you so much for your reply and kind words…i have been to the doctors iv done bereavment sessions and im currently attending counceling sessions but i dont feel they are helping much all i want to do is sleep as thats the only time i dont think or cry but i know life doesnt work like that specially having young children.im trying allsorts even attending church as and when i can but nothing i know its a journey thst im just have to go through.

Hi Michi
I’m so sorry you are struggling, it’s so difficult to comprehend what’s happened to us. I don’t know what to say or even think at the moment. Life is just so cruel. We had a great life before, as I expect you did. I keep asking myself, why ???

My kids have been brilliant, my son is 25 and my girls are 22. How old are your children ? Do you have support from family ?

Thinking of you loads

Lesley

Hello again Michi
I am so sorry that you are struggling so…
it must be especially hard if your children are young and needing lots of attention.I must tell you that this gunky grief is the hardest thing ever but you just have to grit your teeth and dig deeper than you ever knew your could… it is a very deep pit to climb out of but you WILL manage it in time. Life will never be as it was but you and your children will find a new niche one day. Keep going to church and your counselling and let others help you. God will not let you down but you have to wait for His time.
There is an excellent American site called What’s your Grief that may be of use to you and ask your doctor about facilities for one parent families in your area.
Contact me any time and keep posting.x. .

Hi,Michi,So sorry for your loss,and in the most awful of circumstances. I am here if you need to talk. I lost my Mum 11 months ago,and every day i want to give up,but like you i have my son who will soon be 12 to look after. On top of this i have little family support,a lone parent,and have been ill for 6 years now. All i can suggest is take one day at a time,if you need to sleep,sleep,your body needs the rest. I think your very brave,and my thoughts are with you,i hope you start to feel better one day. Lucy,xxx

Thank you so much i really do hope to feel betterx

It really does suck i ask myself why everyday yes we did we had our ups and downs which is why im ridlled with guilt things i said things i didnt get to say…my children are 11 and 7 the yougest was a daddys boy so just looking at him brings me tears spent another weekend crying i find weekends very very hard i have little support from family my mum tries but thats about it its hard as when it first happened everyone was rallying around me and now thats gone i know lifecgoes on but its easier for them than me i guess

Hi thank you hun and sorry to hear about your mum and you being ill its so hard isnt it especially when you just have to find the strengh for the children which i find very hard i do hope you get betterx

Hi Michi
I lost my husband suddenly 7 months ago & like you feel hopeless. I feel worse now than when it first happened.
It’s a truly horrible place we are in at the moment but I think if we take one day at a time & just go with how our body is feeling we will get there.
Although it’s hard functioning each day for the children, they are the reason we will pull through.
Sending you lots of love xx

Hi lesley sorry to hear about your loss yes you are right we have to find the strengh to carry on for the kids i find it very hard though at times i just want to scream and shout but i cant i need to keep it together for kids i just feel so lonely everyone around me are happy and getting on with life im just upset and miserable all the time really wish this wasent happeningx

That’s the worse thing, watching everyone enjoying life. I’m in my bubble watching and it tears my heart out. I’ve never felt so much pain. I feel so bad not wanting anyone else to be happy, but that’s how I honestly feel. Mine and my kids life has been destroyed for what ever reason. So why should others get to Carry on, who gets to make those decisions???

Lesley

Hey lesley.i understand completley how ure feeling…loneliness is killing me trying to adapt to my new lonely life is so hard i feel for the kids you know morecthan anything everything like you say is destroyed i really am trying im sure you are but the pain is just to much i really cant stand it everyday i cant wait for bed time as thats the only time my head rests and i dont cry wondering how im goung to continue to get by each day…do you have much support?

Hi Michi

I do have support, but it’s hard to except it. I can’t bear seeing everyone else living their lives, why do they get to be the ones supporting us, why can’t I be supporting them. It goes round and round in my head. Who get to makes these decisions on our lives. I know I keep saying it, but it’s driving me mad.
My life was so lovely, my marriage was just perfect, and now it’s all been taken away. I can’t believe it, even now, I can’t quite believe it. I hate the person I have become, I hate this new life.

Lesley

Hey hun you should except the support hun i dont have much think thats one reason why im really struggling so many people rallyied around me when it 1st happened now its practiacally none existant.iv been wondering myself people just say accidents happen things happen that are just out of our controll.what i would do to change whats happened i hate who iv become aswell its so hard

I know what you mean, I should
make the most of the support, but it’s getting very difficult as time goes on. I can’t think straight.

I get what you mean i found myself feeling worse than i did when it first happened its like iv gone backwards i find myself wondering how iv even coped i dont remember much from when it first happened its like my head just werentt here i really hope u feel better soon…and me

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