For the past 3 1/2 weeks I have been in the he US with one of my daughters and her family - husband and 2 kids of 7 and 5 . It has been good been here - the children’s laughter and lovel is quite healing - but it is time to go back home
And I feel nervous - while here there is that feeling of an impermanent life - it is not my life and not quite real .
I missed Jack a lot because I felt his absence and I remember the many times we were here before
Going back home will highlight Jack’s absence - will highlight how my life is changed … but at the same time I want to be back to be in my house
I keep saying that I am frozen - I still don’t get excited or joyful about things - everything has lost its shine.
I am just rumbling because I feel so alone and I know I need to find value in my lifetime fe without Jack
Sadie xx