On the 27th of December my partner Blaise passed away aged 35. We lived together in Staffordshire, I am a local but he was Italian, working in the UK as a university lecturer which is where we first met. We had planned on moving to Italy, and he had just started working in Milan, I was going to join him out there as soon as I had finished my degree later this year.
After his death I flew out there, his funeral was held in his hometown of Certaldo, Florence. I decided to stay with his mom for a while, I have now flown back to the UK, but as soon as I left the airport I knew I wouldn’t be able to go to the house alone, it was our home together.
I called my sister and have been staying with her and her family for the last few days, but I know I am going to have to go back soon. I am dreading it, I just don’t know how I can live there without him, I don’t know if I will even be able to get through the front door. My sister said I can stay with her for as long as I need, but it’s only going to get harder if I leave it.
JonnyBadger my partner tragically passed away suddenly and unexpectedly whilst we were on holiday. I had to drive the 7 hours home on my own and enter our empty house. I had advice from an elderly lady, who said to just go in as normal and as I would have done when he was waiting for me. She said if I didn’t do that the first time, I would struggle for ever going in and back to the house. She was right, so she would tell you to put the key in the door and shout hi Blaise, as you did before. It will be very hard but you will then know if you’ve done it once you can do it again. Easier said than done but it worked for me. Take care x
Sorry to read of your loved one
It’s going to be a hard move to make.
Can you have someone stay there with you until you collect your thoughts.
I’ve been alone for almost five months since losing my wife of nearly twenty five years lost my sister four days before my wife she collapsed at my wifes bed in hospital with a brain bleed. All i can say is take it slowly let the tears flow,
tears release helped me. You’ll have memories at home and we all know it will hurt but i’m sure your soulmate will be by your side.
Take care and best wishes for you.
@JonnyBadger
I understand exactly what you mean love. I found it and still find it a hard thing to do. One thing that helps is I always shout 'its me I’m home '. It’s not and never will be the same . But just for a moment it makes me forget what’s happened. I had family staying when it first happened. 4th January. Last week I told them I’d got to do it on my own or I never would. I hate it but I know I have to carry on. I owe it to my hubby. Xx Take care of yourself.x
