Going on steping out on my own

On wensday I am going to try and go to the theatre? My Alan got us tickets to a show before he passed not nowing we wouldn’t be there to come with me at the time we use to do this a lot when he was with me theater a meal and a nigh away. Iam forgoing the meal and the night away don’t think I can do that but am going to try the theatre I’m going by myself because I don’t think I can share this with enyone it will be the first time I have done this on my own ( I have been to the cinema by myself just to get out of the house) but never this I don’t no how I am going to feel about it being something we always did together and a day in the big city kind of scenery but it’s a mattanay. I feel I can’t wast the tickets he so look forward to going I would feel guilty if I wasted the tickets. I no its not going to be the same with on hand to hold and yes it’s scarey going it alone but I gess we all have to now it will be 5 months for me on Wednesday so this is going to be well you can! I hope I don’t lose my nerve thinking of you all xx

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Hi, good for you to pluck up the courage, honestly no one will look at you, many people go out to the theatre on their own, although it will be hard knowing your Alan won’t be there.
You might even strike up a conversation with someone, hold your head up high, your Alan will be proud of you, if you do have a little cry, so what !
Good luck to you xx

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Alan was my partner some how this ended up on the perent site that’s the trouble with phones when you have bad eye’s you can’t always see what your doing xx

Hi CJ13 - I’ve moved this to the Losing a Partner category for you.

Dear Cj. I hope you enjoy the theatre. Have a drink in the bar before hand maybe? I find I’m having to be brave even at 68 to make myself do things on my own. I want to go for walks but it’s difficult finding walks that we didn’t do together without having to travel long distances. I don’t want to, but I find myself resenting couples. That was us only eight weeks ago. Will send you a big dose of courage on Wednesday. Xx

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Hi cj13. My husband died just six weeks ago and like you we had theatre tickets booked at a local theatre. I decided to take a friend who lost his wife a year ago and is coming up to difficult anniversaries. It was strange without my lovely husband, but we enjoyed the show and it made us both smile. A bit of escapism perhaps. But it was a little step forwards for me into my unknown future. I hope you enjoy the show, whether you go alone or share it with somebody else struggling a bit…it will be a step forward xxx


Thanks you for your kind words and incuregment in this I no we all have to go forward some how we can not go back as much as we all would like to. we can only take cortege and strength from each other
In ower journey onwards and try to remember the good things we sherd with the people we have lost those silly things that only me new. Going on with out them is the hardest thing we will even do l think but never having none them at all would be worse hugs to all

Hello there, i lost Dave February 15th this year. I am going to see Lion King in January by myself. I’ve never been alone before but am trying to make a life. Thinking of you and good luck, you are not alone. Enjoy the theatre. God bless. Xx

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Hello cj13
I am alone and I went to the theatre alone Saturday to see Michael Buble tribute.
It was tough getting ready to go out alone but was really pleased I done it as was a brilliant night and a lady said to me your not alone because we are all here with you.
I thought it was lovely xx
I always go out alone now because I would rather be out than in alone.
Take Care.
Sending you lots of love and hugs at this difficult time xx


Thanks for your kind words I went last week and yes it was difficult not having Alan with me and going on my own but having sed that I think I would do it again I no I can now being self reliant is not easy. The train staff were brilliant not having him to share it with was hard. But being on our own shouldn’t be a barrier for enyone to do what we want or go where thay want to but sometimes it seems to be thank you

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Yes, you go to the theater by yourself and, whether you’re the only solo visitor or there are others there by themselves, give yourself a hearty mental pat on the back for your courage and single-mindedness. It’s almost four years since I lost my soul mate of almost forty years of 24/7 together and I’m still ‘learning how to cope’. Friends made in the first few weeks and months have lost interest and older ‘friends’ have simply shown who they were a friend of … and it isn’t me. What I’m saying is … do whatever you feel you need to do to make this world a better place for you. Depending on others can be “an exercise in futility”.
Way I see it, you never get used to the fact that they’re not here, you simply learn to live with it.
Some days you will be strong, others not so much.
May 2020 bring you very many good days.

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Thakyou. Wanderer for your kind words we must all do what we can to get through each day as best we can yes I am afraid people just don’t stay in touch you have to try and forge your own way some how it harder when you’re not sure where you belong. Most people have there own little group that your not apart of and the people you New before just don’t stik around for what ever reson there are things I use to do but don’t any more going for a meal out. I miss that but I don’t think I would do it by myself Iam not shore about going on holiday by myself ether. But the cinema or the theatre I would do that agen.

I hope you do chose to go to the theatre again.
Although on your own, if its a happy/funny /musical event, being in a crowd can be comforting. I loved Chicago for its exuberance and life and Little Shop of Horrors for the laughs and if you can get to a pantomime sometime soon, they’re great for some just plain silliness.
Haven’t tried any movies as sitting in the dark with goodness knows whats on the screen and rustling popcorn eaters has lost what little appeal it once had.
Whatever you decide to try, give yourself the gift of time.
Know for sure the person you are now will not be who you are three months from now, or even three years on.
The pain of grieving changes us, or at least that’s what I’ve found.
Treasure whatever good health you have and nurture it. Be kind to yourself. Try as hard as possible to live each day as if it is a unexpected gift.
Oh yes, I can give out advice, not so good at taking it though.

My cousin, in fact, she came to see me yesterday, is a professional musician, and she plays in the orchestra of many a West End show in London. She has lost count of how many times she has played in the orchestra of the Lion King.