My husband passed away 6 months ago, I don’t have close family and only a small group of friends and acquaintances. I miss going to the cinema and there’s a film our currently I would really like to see but everyone I’ve asked so far is busy. I’m really anxious about going alone & also feel sad that I’ve got no one to go with. Just wondering how everyone else handles this situation if you have no one to go with? Do you force yourself to go alone?
4 Likes
Hello, I’m sorry for your loss, yes I was in a similar situation I did force myself to go, I picked a seat near the front in the corner & got some snacks & went for a showing where it wouldn’t be busy, I felt really awkward but when the lights went down it was fine, I enjoyed the film & felt proud I’d gone.
Now it doesn’t faze me at all, once you’ve got the first trip out of the way it’s ok.
5 Likes
Thank you, your reply has made me feel better about going alone. I guess as you said, the first time going will be the hardest.
4 Likes
I’m so sorry for your loss, I lost my partner eleven months ago after 40 years together. We didn’t go to the cinema much and very rarely to bars, but we did like our weekly lunches. I miss that very much. I have been out for lunch with friends, and occasionally my sister but it’s just not the same as he’s not here. Sometimes it just reinforces how much I miss him, and I sit there barely taking part in the conversation. Grief is so hard, not only has your loved one died but your whole life has changed. This new reality is horrible.
Perhaps you could try going to the cinema yourself, maybe at a quieter time and see how you feel. You can leave it it’s too overwhelming. I find it can be difficult to pin down friends when you want to do something, as people have their own lives. Wishing you peace, take care.
3 Likes
Hi Chrisb6
I don’t go to the cinema but I do go alone to the cafe in a local garden centre.
It felt strange at first sitting there on my own with my coffee and cake trying to look busy on my phone, but it has become a habit. The staff are friendly and up for a chat if it’s not too busy and they know my order without me having to tell them, which gives a sense of belonging. It’s also a welcome break to the monotony of what now passes for daily life.
Pick a quiet time and give it a try otherwise you will never know.
5 Likes
I too have been to a coffee shop, twice. I felt very uncomfortable both times but stuck it out. Wouldn’t say I really enjoyed it but was out my depth as had never done it ever. I was the only single one there, I looked at phone and out the window. I may do it again in winter as I have no one and the days can be long.
3 Likes
Hi Katherine20
It is something you have to keep doing, then it becomes sort of ‘normal’.
My wife had a car which needs to be driven occasionally, so my little trips to the cafe get me out and give the car a run.
Some days I’m looking for excuses not to go but usually I quite look forward to it and feel better for the effort.
As I said, the staff know me and my usual order which means I’m still capable of making an impression!
4 Likes
Hi, if you feel you can, then try. If it’s all too much you can come away and nothing lost. I struggle as totally alone now, but I have read lots and the theme seems that it’s always in your own control. I’ve tried things and come home upset, but tried.
3 Likes
You have done well. I felt so uncomfortable but maybe as you say keep trying.
2 Likes
I could not go cinema on own or even a cafe etc but I go out meet people walking shopping etc,I get a meal date with ladies I talk to I’m confident in that dept but not sitting on my own I’d feel like Billy no mates but one day I’ll try it.
1 Like
Please persist with going out alone. I lost my husband of 52 years almost a year ago, but I have a head start on going out alone because I travelled abroad for work and would fly and book into hotels on my own. I recently spent a couple of nights on my own in a hotel in the UK and I really enjoyed it. My limiting factor is a back injury, or I would be doing much more of it.
Whilst away, I dined out on my own – I took a book to read whilst I waited. And I regularly go to the cinema alone. I still wear my wedding ring and remember – we have had long term successful relationships. Oh, and I do have friends who I go out with, but I also enjoy the freedom of being prepared to go out on my own.
4 Likes
Hello Chrisb6, I lost my husband 5 months ago. .and my husband and I would go to the cinema on occasion, i don’t know if i dared go alone, but if i wanted to watch a movie bad enough id probably go,..anyway we would always see people alone at the cinema..let me know what movie you decided to go see.
take care
2 Likes
Thank you, I will do & thank you for your replies, it really helps
2 Likes
I haven’t gone to the cinema alone but I have a friend who is married but and her husband doesn’t always want to see the films she likes, so she happily goes by herself without a second thought. Maybe if you go once you will find it is not too bad.
My sister died recently and I had to stay in a hotel by myself in order to go to her funeral. I was worried but then I thought people go on business trips alone. I pretended to my self that I didn’t care. I missed my dear husband so much but I survived and it wasn’t too bad as people talked to me in the dining room. We have to try to continue to do things even though it is hard. I send you good wishes and strength to carry on.
3 Likes