Grandad grandma and uncle Stephen

Ill try keep it short but it will still be quiet long olease bear with me.

On 9th april 2016 it was 21st bday i hadnt heard from grandad thw following morning at 7.34am he text me asking how my bday was i said yeah great and so on anyways i get call at around half ten from grandad saying he ringing ambulance i was like what why whats happened u okayy have u fell over he said he was in agony it got to half 1 ish and i had phone from hospital i said is grandad okayy why u calling she said hes fine but grandma is also there as her blood pressure nearly 200 i got there after i sobered up and i told grandma off for not taking her tablets and i said to grandad ao whats wrong with u he said ive got lung cancer i ran around the beds to get to his side and gave him massive hug and i said we have got this grandad ill here every step of thw way so i packed my stuff and came to live with grandma who i cared for 24/7 then i had to care for grandad 24/7 too luckily i could leave grandma for few houra as she wasnt that incapable. After 2 weeks of being in hospital he went to thw hospice for the last 4 weeks he passed away in my arms after i had just done massive speech about taking care of grandma and that he had to stop fighting now and how much i love him and much more. He passed 22nd may 2016 funer was on 7th june 2016. On 14 th march 2017 i lost uncle stephen as he committed suicide by hanging himself. I wasnt able go funeral as a family member made sure i couldnt get there. Then on 5 th may i was with my grandma as usual and we was chatting away next min she said she fekt dizzy and she started to fall so i grabbed her and lowered her to floor gently and she was dead before she hit the floor so had to deal police and ambulance and undertakers and arrange funeral which got booked for 22nd may 2017 which woukd be grandads yearly anniversary so that was double hard. Then the MEN areana bombing happened and i lost 3 close friends. I dont know how to deal with it all. Am scared as i just keeo thinking who next sigh. Thanks for reading all this if u did means a lot. Xx

Hi Nikki,

Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I’m so sorry to hear that you have been through so much loss in such a short space of time. It’s understandable that you are struggling and that you are frightened of losing more people.

I hope it’s helped even a tiny bit to be able to write it all down and get some of those feelings off your chest. You aren’t alone on this site - there are many others here who understand the grief of losing someone close. While you wait for more replies to your post, I have found some other posts that I thought you might relate to - perhaps you’d like to read and reply to some of these:

Clairelp posted: <a href=“”_blank">Losing 3 family members

Cat posted: <a href=“”_blank">Two losses in 15 months

Andy posted: <a href=“”_blank">Lost my uncle - sudden death - advice please

Do you have any support at the moment? For example, any other family members or friends that you can talk to?

Have you ever considered any counselling or bereavement support? Sometimes it can be really helpful to talk all your feelings through with a neutral person and start to process what has happened. A good first step would be to talk to your GP or contact Cruse Bereavement.