Grandparents died within 3 weeks of each other

My grandad died on the 21st January 2023 and ive been trying to cope with the fact hes not here anymore ive been to the funeral and waiting for his ashes, helping my children cope with their grief too, a week before the funeral my nan has been ill with a chest infection, but she also had throat cancer but seem to plod again in the retirement home where they both were, on the sunday 19th February my nan passed away, im broken my nan was the closest person to me and my children ever and my grief is taking over more ive lost both grandparents within weeks of each other, also my aunt died sunday the same day of cancer, its just seems this year even though its only February theres death every time i turn, im finding it hard, work have been great both time i have a week pay for bereavement but i dontbknow if its enough or if its better going back and entering the world where every person knows me knew her as well, in a morning i wake up and cry i feel like i want to curl up with the pain in the pit of my stomach but know ive got my children to think of

Hello @Samilou,

I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandparents and your aunt. It sounds like you’re coping with so much right now. Thank you for reaching out here - I really hope that you find the community to be a support to you.

I can hear the pain in your post, and your losses are so recent, so please be gentle with yourself right now. It can be really hard to grieve ourselves when also supporting our children through grief. Winston’s Wish offer advice and support to bereaved children and their families. They’re on 08088 020 021 and There are lots of resources on their website that you might find helpful to explore with your children.

Sue Ryder offer free Online Bereavement Counselling . Sessions are held via video chat with trained counsellors. You can also contact Cruse who deliver sessions face to face.

Many of our members have also found our Grief Coach text support service helpful.

We are all here for you too - you are not alone.

Take care

Hi, im so so sorry for your losses, i have had the same , my mums dad passed in January 2002 and my dads dad passed valentines day 2002 i was 4 months pregnant with my youngest daughter. ive recently lost my nan in sept 22, im having bereavement councilling and attend a bereavement cafe once a month.

its heartbreaking but your not alone im always here if you would like to message me

lots of love

chelle x

1 Like

Ive so sorry to hear that, thanku its so much to deal with i didnt expect to feel like this and didnt expect them to go so close together, i keep waking in a morning and crying as i realise shes not there anymore, she was more to me than just my nan she was more like my mum, im due back to work on the 1st of march, im hoping that i can deal with it as my children will be back to school as well, i think if i stay at home on my own it will get worse, thats so nice of u thanku, and im sorry for your losses xx

i totally understand my mum was unable to care for me and my brother so my nan was like a mum to me too. i cry all the time till im physically sick. Ive found keeping busy helps so if you can manage to go back to work then try your best as i dont work i have long term health issues, but i manage to do a few hours a week volunteering at my local care home befriending and it makes me feel like im with my nan/grandad again.

message me whenever you want to talk it really does help being on here again im so sorry your dealing with all this its heartbreaking :broken_heart:

love chelle xxx

1 Like

Hi, from Saturday ive not been too bad the kids have been home and my partner, on monday i kept busy and decided to have another week off work, my boss has been great, i was half way through cleaning and burst out crying, the aches in my stomach are immense, ive not cried for 3 days, then this morning ive started crying again and wondering if it would have been best if i did go back to work, i just dont know what to do, if i go i may just end up crying theres alot of people who know who my nan is and as i work in retail locally its going to be hard, i cant seem to win either way, my nan is more like my mum as ive not spoken to my mum for 17 years my nan is her mum, my nans also said before my mum seems to be jealous over how close me and my nan were, my mothers a complicated being only thinking of herself, shes more interested in sorting out both my grandparents wills, i just my nan. Theres still things i need to ask her say to her, i need her hugs andbto say i love her i cant do this without her

aww bless you, do you know what my mum was jealous of mine and my nans relationship too im sure of it. My mum didnt raise me my nan and grandad did, I do that ill be washing up and suddenly just burst into tears. my best friend has been brilliant, i dont have a partner and my daughters are 20 and 24 they are both busy with uni and work, You can only try to go back to work see how yu feel, its good your boss is understanding really does help,
let me know how your getting on and i know its so hard to control crying especially at work.
always here :heart:

Love Chelle xx

1 Like

Its been 7 weeks since my grandad passed, it would be his birthday today and really grieving hard, its been 3 weeks since my nan passed and a week after her funeral, i miss them so much, im missing her voice, i usually have a voicemail of her on my phone but ive looked and all have been deleted i was hoping there was just one so i could hear her again, i keep having days where i think of them and at the end of the day just cry, its all happened so fast and life just keeps moving, im scared ill forget their voices, i really need my nan i need her to give me a cuddle it hurts so much

1 Like

Hey hun, just checking in with you, how are you?? im still struggling bad 8 months down the line. ive lost weight where i cant eat. just on meal replacement drinks at the moment. i see you put about having a voicemail of your nan, ive got a 7 second video of my nan talking. all i do is listen to it. makes me cry :cry:. let me know how your getting on hun

love Chelle xx

Hi Chelle, its so hard isnt it, ive been doing ok i keep having my days where i just cry, i think about them all the time and still cant wrap my head around them both being gone, i look at photos and my heart aches, ive been back at work and its helped, the management have been great they even bought me flowera and gifts with photos of my grandparents in, weve finally got their ashes back and have a necklace with one of theres in, just my nans as id already bought a necklace for my grandad, and i didnt expect her to go, i can still here her voice at the min in my head but im scared ill forget, aww bless you, ive not been eating much but my daughters been helping cooking with me makes it better when ive her company, ive tried to keep myself busy, its just that ive no where to visit either of them and i still feel lost, big hugs to you
Love Sam

1 Like

Hi darling, yeah im pretty much the same…thats great with work you need that and thats so kind of them, ive applied for a volunteer job today in a care home near me. i need to do something, not eating properly just being on anti sickness tablets and meal replacement drinks not good. Ive put my nans ashes in a trinket box its beautiful silver. next to that i have a pic of me and my nan and then a vase to put flowers :bouquet: in on anniversaries. its my grandads bday today and my nan is with him 1st one in over 20 years. the thought knowing they are reunited makes me smile. so sick of crying :cry:. awww thats lovely your daughter helping you. both my girls are busy with uni exams and work. so dont see them much. :confused: have you got any thoughts where you would like have their ashes.?? keep strong and well done with work xxxx

Hi hun, i hope u are ok and finding the volunteer work helpful, i have my days where i cry and i always think of them each day, i have their ashes ready to scatter when the the weather picks up, and already have some in some jewellery, i cant believe theyve been gone nearly 4 months my heads still not got use to not seeing them, hope youre doing good xx

Hiya, its been 9 months on the 12th may and i still cant get my head around it that i wont ever see my nan again its heart wrenching, hows work going? 4 months bless you its still so raw for us both, i havent started voluntary work they are doing all my checks so should be next week. thats lovely you have some ashes in jewellery, i might do that too. sending you strength and hugs :people_hugging:

love chelle xx

Hi hun, hope u are doing well, ive been plodding on going to work, the kids finished school/college bout 6 weeks ago done their exams and have another 6 wk to go till their next chapter, so theyre keeping me company on my days off, ive had my up and down days where i remember theyre not here and it hurts so bad, i really want to talk with my nan i cant believe shes not here that she had to follow grandad, ive still to scatter their ashes, ive scattered some went we went aqay for the weekend to the coast a nice place on the beach, its just im finding hard to part with them its the last pieces of them i have left, i do have a plan to scatter them its just i make excuses so i dont have to like the weathers crap or ive been at aall day and im exhausted, hope you are getting on well with the voluntary work and doing ok x

Hi hun, aww thats good you got company on your days off. i scattered some of my nans ashes round my local lake, im not gonna lie im struggling reslly bad, keep crying it will be a year next month and i still feel lost. i havent started voluntary work yet waiting for my dbs check to come back. ive been trying to keep busy. sending hugs xx

Hi, im struggling more at the minute my father in law passed away 2 wks ago, i cant believe ive lost another person this year its so unfair, the kids are heartbroken, ive not been at work for 3 weeks theyre being so good with me, ive had to help my partner organise the funeral, help with all the bills and stress that goes with it, i hope u are doing better

1 Like

hiya. so sorry to hear this :cry: i lost someone i met on holiday in may so ive had two deaths in a year its horrible. keep strong hun for the kids and look after yourself.

im having bereavement councilling with cruse once a week its difficult talking about my nan and zane (person i lost) always here if you wanna chat

love chelle xx

1 Like