It was my grandsons passing anniversary on the 17 February people keep telling me it will get easier but at the moment it’s getting harder they say he’s not in pain anymore no but I am I’m trying so hard to support my daughter but inside I’m screaming help me he was 20 when he left I can’t use the word d___ he left twin boys behind it’s just not fare this week we went and scattered his ashes the song we had for his funeral plays most days on the radio sometimes I can listen to it others I have to turn if off. Can’t believe that something so alive can suddenly be gone I just can’t talk to anyone about it
Hello @Jane20,
I’m so sorry to hear about your grandson. It sounds as though things are very difficult at the moment and it’s getting harder.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share these links with you to help you with your grief.
You might already be familiar with our other Online Bereavement Support services, but if not, you can find out more about our Online Counselling service, our Grief Coach text support service, and our Grief Guide self-help tools by visiting the link.
Take care - keep reaching out,
Alex
@Jane20 I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandson. I just wanted to leave a quick message to say you’re not alone in what you are feeling.
I lost my 2 year old son in Sept 2023 and it has been felt deeply by our whole family. His grandma especially, was used to having this loud, energetic toddler around and then he was gone all of a sudden.
I imagine it can be alot for grandmothers to cope with, feeling that loss and also supporting their own child through something like this.
I hope you find a way to keep talking about your grandson and also how you are feeling. I’ve started using a journal and find it works well for just getting my thoughts out.
Take care
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss
Our grandson stayed with us during lockdown down this have us weeks of memories I’m at the stage now I cry for the things he’s not going to see or do, I wonder if you feel the same he’s brother is due to be a daddy next month and this had bump started these sorry feelings when we should all be looking forward too him and his brother sharing the joy I have thrown myself into work and managed to get through the day that’s till I get onto the car to come home and then I cry till I get home, I know my husband missing him too but I just can’t talk to him about Andrew I feel so lost
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Hi @Jane20
I definitely feel the same way. Aaron would have turned 3 in May and that day made me feel really sad thinking about everything he’ll never get to experience or do 
I’m glad being at work is helping you a bit. It can be a relief to distract yourself from everything that is going on and to focus on tasks away from home. It certainly helped me try and cope with my new normal - my husband went back the week after the funeral because he felt he needed to.
Have you got any friends or other family members you can talk to about Andrew if you need to? Talking about Aaron helps me remember him and all the things he used to do and say 
It lifts my sometimes and my sons like those reminders of their little brother 
it is 6 yrs this july since i lost my grandson who was 15 to drowning off clacton pier, was all over the news. still miss him, he was a great character and had ambitions of joining air force but none was ever forfilled sadly
@SueF1 I’m sorry for your loss. It must have been especially hard seeing all the news reports about it too.
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it was on tv as well and its mentioned every time there is a drowning off clacton pier. trouble is they never learn, the rip tides are well know in the area
I’m so sorry you all have to go through that every time
I’m so sorry having it all over the TV must have added to you pain my grandson has passed all his exams to be a motor macanic his boys are now three and so much like he was at that age I try so hard to get throught each day I know that’s what he would like me to do