Greaving

General chat
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Hello my name is emma my mum passed away 2 yrs ago in September and i lost my sister just over 30 yrs ago ive been struggling to cope and i cant do it i keep having flash backs of my mum and i keep getting upset every day theres a day where i would be alright and the rest of the days im down alot .i get upset cant sleep i get annoyed then feeling down again . I use to work in a fast food restaurant and i had to leave because there are to many memories of my mum in there sometimes i have suicide thoughts because im not coping i can go days without eating i feel like i have nobody to turn to ive got a boyfriend but he doesnt offer me any support it gets worse with it being Christmas as well . I dont know what to do anymore :sleepy:

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Hello emm, 2 years is a long time to be grieving for you mum. Maybe you should seek a professional to help with your unresolved issues. Maybe talking to your boyfriend about your needs can be helpful. Sometimes our partners play it too cool and may seem detached but they may just be afraid too. I hope you can find some peace of mind sharing on this site.

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Hi, I’m sorry to hear you’re having a really difficult time processing the grief of your mum. I’m also sorry for your loss, you’re not alone. Though it may feel that way, I can assure you, here is a safe space with community full of people with similar experiences to yourself. Besides your boyfriend, do you maybe have any friends or other immediate family members that you could reach out too? I know that sounds unhelpful, but I think right now more than anything, you need community to get you through the intense parts of grief as well as talking to someone to help you whilst you’re actively processing your thoughts and feelings. Suicide is a very extreme alternative, there are so many possibilities in between that we can look at exploring! You deserve to be here. You’re enough. You’re loved. You’re valued. If movement is too much, stay still (metaphorically) don’t force anything, don’t resist anything. Just be still with any, and everything. :heart:

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2 years isnt a long time and the greaving can go on for years my mum ment alot to me as i use to look.after her while she was ill

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Im so sorry for your losses @Emmsybobs . I used to look after my mum before she passed so i know what a HUGE hole it leaves- for me it feels like part of me is missing.

If you are not eating for days at a time nor sleeping properly your body is going to be all over the place, and in turn that doesnt help emotionally, and it ends up becoming a vicious circle. Have you considered looking for some extra support to help get everything back in balance and support you through your grief? I know Sue Ryder offer free online counselling so that might be worth exploring. But id also suggest you speak to your GP to see what support they can offer. And on this forum you’ll find so many people all trying to make sense of their grief and how on earth we carry on with our lives. You are not alone - hang on in there :hugs:

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I feel like i dont want to be here anymore i just want to be with my mum…and i keep having these suicide thoughts that i want to kill myself just so i can be with my mum.i feel like ive no hope at all and theres nothing to keep me here :weary::sleepy:

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Hi @Emmsybobs,

I’m so sorry to hear about your mum.

It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts when they are grieving. We have a video about it here which you might find helpful:

https://griefguide.sueryder.org/support/suicide

There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

  • If these thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

  • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.

  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text REMEDY to 85258 and talk to them about anything.

  • You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.

As @Ally6 has mentioned, you can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

It sounds like you’re really struggling at the moment, @Emmsybobs. You matter and deserve help. Please, reach out for support.

Take care,
Seaneen

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Please don’t hurt yourself.
You deserve this life! You are so loved and needed here. You will feel better, I promise you! I was in the same place, I couldn’t see a way out of the darkness. I was depressed, and suicidal too. But I reached out, and I got help. I’m here today because my counsellor helped save my life! She helped me get back on my feet, and fight another day. Your mum loves you so much, she wouldn’t want to see you in such pain and suffering. She wants to see you happy and loving your life, living prosperously. There are people who are here to help you keep fighting. If you can, please reach out to the free counsellors Sue Ryder provide!
You’re enough, and deserve to be here.
You’re enough Emma
@Emmsybobs :heart::heart:

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