Grief and bereavement

I am grieving the passing of my darling wife of sixty four years . I feel so sad and lonely . I realise that this is early days . I lost her six weeks ago . I would appreciate any conversation. Jim


Hi Jim, sorry for your loss , you amongst folk who are in the same boat .

I’m 8 weeks in , it’s utter torture and I can’t give you hope you can get through this although many do mate .

Get your feelings down in a message , don’t be scared , let it all out you will need to .

And what was her name mate? My wife was Mandy 51 , my everything and me to her , it’s cut me in 2 and I’m struggling right now.

1 Like

Hello Glen thank you for your reply . It appears we are both in the same situation. Like you Glen I am tearful if I mention her name to anyone the tear’s start flowing. I have put a shrine in my lounge to her every time I look at it the tears start to flow . Thank you for the message Glen I hope we can keep in touch. All the best to you. Jim

1 Like

Hello Jim
I am so sorry for your loss
Life is so unfair
Tomorrow is the anniversary of my husband death
I wasn’t as lucky as you - we were only together for 25 wonderful years
I loss my mum 11 months later my mum and dad were together for 50 years
It is hard copping with grief it never leaves you but in time you do learn to live with it

It is so raw for you right now
Please come on here and talk and share it might help you cope
You could write your feelings and thoughts in a journal
I did this and it helped me cope with my anger at loosing them both
I still write it in today

You take care Jim

I’m so sorry for your loss of your wife Mandy
It’s hell
When you have loved someone so much you can’t see you every getting over it
You DONT your body learns to cope with it
It is all a blur for me when I loss my husband well partner
I couldn’t do nothing for over 5 months didn’t work just was in my wee bubble
I made myself go back to work just before Xmas
It gave me a purpose a reason to get up get dressed I took my mind off my grief
I still have really bad days because I miss him every single minute of the day
He was my whole world my reason for living
For me now I keep myself busy with work family hobbies and helping others
It how I cope with my loss getting through the days

You need to grieve right now
As I suggested to Jim maybe write in a journal how your feeling
I found I was so angry i could write down how I was feeling without offending anyone
You need to do what is best for you Glen

You take care

@Jim85 wow that’s a long time married Jim, yes you must feel lost. Just take one day at a time, I lost my precious Mam 7weeks ago think about her from the minute I wake up till I go to bed. It’s so unfair isn’t it I’d give anything to hold my mam one more time. We know our loved ones would want us to get on with it and be happy again I’m sure we will just early days for us both yet isn’t it… always here for a chat. Keep strong

Thank you for the support Scottie .

I tried a journal early in the first few days but it won’t work for me as I won’t reread it .
It is very early I now know , everything I’m feeling is natural . The utter despair now her funeral and affairs are taken care of is the biggest thing now .

I feel its just hitting me hard now , the tears of utter desperation that engulf me in a flash .
Why does a fun loving , caring , amazing 50 year old at the time be given cancer ? Come on clergy men or woman answer me that one? She didn’t deserve that , she was beautiful to everyone she met . We had a great life and we’re just making plans then POW ……bladder cancer.

Not just any old cancer , she got a nasty one , vile one .

it’s been only just 2 months, definitely this last week I’ve noticed the change in me ……can’t be bothered with work , loneliness, longing for her back, why me , why my family .

I’m on the border of possibly needing help , I will see how the next few weeks go but i can’t go on the way I’ve been this week . I know nothing can bring her back , to type that breaks my heart .


@Northumbrian54 sending my love, it’s so hard isn’t it. You sound broken. Your beautiful wife will be watching over you I’m sure.
I lost my Mam, my best friend 7 weeks ago, I’ve cried and begged people to bring her back :cry: :broken_heart:
Every morning when I wake up my heart pounds thinking, here we go again another day to get through without mam…
It’s just that feeling of never being able to see them again isn’t it.
It’s so unfair, I just want my life back :tired_face: I was my mams full time carer aswell so lost.
Grief is a price we pay for loving someone so deeply isn’t it :broken_heart:
If you need help you get it, I’m on the waiting list for a Councillor to ring me
Take one day at a time or even hour by hour


Hello Scottie thank you for your very kind words .
I appreciate you helping me . I am grieving for my daring wife Rita of sixty four years she was my life and now I feel so sad . If I mention her name to anyone it ends in floods of tears and me apologising. Thank you Scottie I hope we can continue this friendship Jim xx

Jayne thank you for your message I am grieving for my Darling wife Rita of sixty four years. As you say Jayne a long time I feel half of me is gone. Every time I think of her or mention her name it is floods of tears. Thank you for the message Jayne . I hope we can keep up this conversation . Jim xx

@Jim85 it’s so very hard isn’t it, try keep your self busy as much as you can like alot of people on here tell us in time it still hurts like hell but you do start to take pleasure in things again, we will get there Jim we have too for there memory and we know they wouldn’t want us to be so down and upset day in day out.
We’ll get there

Hello again Jayne I hope I am not becoming a nuisance to you if please tell me. I am having a very miserable day today very tearful and down. I am missing my Rita very badly today. As I sit here sending this note to you the tears are flowing. Thank you Jayne. Jim xx

@Jim85 don’t ever think your a nuisance, aww bless you. It’s so hard to know what to say just please think though if you could talk to your beloved Rita what would she say to you if she could see you know?
That’s what I try to keep asking myself, my mam absolutely hated it if I was upset.
Allow yourself to have a break from grieving Jim, maybe watch a film, go for a walk or read a book, you 100% need this, you need to give your self a break from the heartache and your thoughts even for an hr or two.
Take care… you can always pm me aswell, always here for a chat

1 Like


I know how your feeling I was and still am angry at God for taking my husband
He was only 49 we too had our life all planned what we would do when we retired
In one split second it was all wiped away
I feel for you to watch your loving wife suffer with the terrible disease
You are angry and you have ever right to be
You are right though I think it may help you to get counselling
I had it when David died i didn’t think it helped me but my family thought it did
That’s why I wrote in the journal I hated the world !!

4 years today my husband got up and died at the bottom of our stairs
Friends send messages “thinking of you “
I am crying as I write this
I miss him every single minute of the day not just the day he died or his birthday
I am broken inside like you ,like Jim, like us all on this site

Right now you and Jim are going through hell
It does get easier your body has to protect itself and you learn how to cope with your grief
I found I had to be busy went back to work made myself start new hobbies
All to protect me
Otherwise I would of gone into a dark place and maybe not come out of it

Look after yourself Glen
And I promise you not now but in time you will be able to smile laugh cry when you think of all the happy memories you had with your beautiful wife
Take care


You shouldn’t need to apologise for crying !!
You have loss your loving wife
That was by your side for all those years

When your stronger Jim come on this site and talk about Rita
Where did you meet ?
What made you fall in love with her ?
I would love to hear Jim
Memories make us smile- I know right now this may be hard
Sharing makes such a difference even now I still talk about David he was my life
Talking about him is keeping him alive in my heart

I look forward to talking to you again Jim
Take care


Scottie that was a very lovely reply, you made me smile .

Good morning Jayne thank you for your reply. I feel a little better today. Yesterday was a bad one grief and tears all day . I know my darling Rita wouldn’t be happy to see me like this God bless her . As I write this message Jayne the tears are flowing. Thank you very much for your patience with me. I am looking forward to your reply. It certainly helps thank you Jayne for everything. Jim xxx

Hello Scottie and thank you for your message. It is nice to know you are helping in my hour of need . Thank you for giving me the chance to reply. I will certainly do that . To day is a few tears. Thank you Scottie . Jim xxx

Hi Jim I’ve recently lost my husband of 32yrs and I am finding the evening tough and lonely so would appreciate chatting especially as your going through the same