It has been a few months since my dad passed away. After the initial 2 weeks off work I stepped back into my old shoes and tried to carry on as best I could. Then the summer ended…the children went back to school, people around me started returning to their normal. The house was empty and other than work I was alone with my thoughts.
My dad was diagnosed with cancer and assessed for surgery to remove the tumour. The surgery went well and was successful. However due to infections he received in the hospital and being honest the absolutely shocking treatment he received at a particular hospital, a surgery that was meant to prolong his life ultimately led to the end. Just for comparison another hospital where he ultimately dies was fantastic.
What I witnessed in those last few weeks still likes to come back and pop up into my head at times. There are investigations ongoing as this should never have happened. I thought I was doing well and then another investigation started and brought so so much anger to the forefront.
I am angry at the poor care he received, I am angry at those I thought would be there for me and obviously have much better things to focus on.
The sadness can be overwhelming but the anger is consuming. I feel like its eating me up inside.
I just wonder how other people have coped in their grief when their are coroners and investigations involved. Especially when it is not a quick process and what about when people let you down?
@Sunflower89 you’ll find lots of threads on here about medical negligence. I’m sorry it happened to you. It’s been almost a year for me, and I have only just been able to obtain the notes. I had to quickly pen a letter of complaint before the 12-month deadline. How do I cope? Well, I think of my wonderful dad and how he campaigned for justice in many different areas of life, and I know that he’d support me doing the same for him, as I am doing 
.
Sunflower, your anger is justified and normal. You have every right to be furious. I am so very sorry for your loss. When I lost my dad, a huge part of me died with him. He was my-bigger-than-life hero
Honey, it took me a very long time to get close to normal. Life has never been the same and will never be and it has been 14 years. It still hurts, but we do survive. You will. I promise.
May peace upon you.
I am sorry for your loss and understand your feelings. My mum went into hospital at the end of 2022 after a fall and minor burn, from which she recovered well, but hospital-acquired infections and the appalling lack of communication between ward, social services and care homes meant that she was not allowed out of the hospital and she lost the will to live, dying after three months of starvation and dehydration. We could see she had given up and asked for her to have palliative/end-of-life care, but were ignored by a superior male consultant who said it was his duty to keep her alive. I wrote to the health trust concerned but got no satisfactory reply. It was over a year ago now but, even though my mum and I had a troubled relationship and her life was by then not very happy for several reasons, I still feel sad because she was let down and died before she needed to. I can only hope that time will be the healer for you too.