Hi. I lost my Dad suddenly and traumatically 4 weeks ago tomorrow. It was 4 weeks today that he collapsed and I woke up into the day crying. I had been due to look after my eldest daughter but I needed support from my husband. He’s been in a terrible mood all day storming about the house, shouting and swearing. I told him it was making me feel awful but he continued. He wouldn’t say what was up. He went to work even though I asked him to get colleagues to cover because I was having a really bad day and arrived home an hour later than promised. Then tonight he just blanks me and ignores me until I force him to talk to me and tell him that he can’t behave like that. He says I should have “compassion” for him and that I have to “support him too”. At the moment, I feel like I can’t support him, I’ve asked him so many times to reach out to others, to friends and his own family, I even messaged his brother to get in touch with him. He then blames me and said that I should have realised I wouldn’t be able to look after the children this week. I said it was his job to anticipate things for me at the moment. I just feel so angry and let down by him having expectations of me so soon after Dad died and expecting his worries to be looked after by me. I just can’t do it. I need him to do it. I ended up sobbing on the sofa with my eldest daughter sat watching TV next to me today. I needed his support but he chose work. I feel so let down.
Sorry to hear, Magenta 
. My sister has had trouble with her husband, too, after we lost our wonderful dad.
Hugs you lots virtually. 
Of course you can’t do it yet, it’s way too soon, and I’m so sorry he doesn’t understand that. That extra stress is not what you need right now. 
Really? I’m so sorry to hear, and sorry that you and your sister have lost your wonderful Dad. It’s so ridiculous as I just want a hug from my Dad that I can’t have.
Thank you so much for writing to me. Yes it’s just been a really difficult day. We both woke up not coping, but I suppose I feel a bit like I need him to just cope. I know he’s only human. It’s difficult to navigate work and parenting amidst all of this and I suppose it’s inevitable there will be the odd argument or falling out at this really stressful time.
Yes, emotions run high and everything has changed, so there’s bound to be friction. It must be difficult to juggle everything, I find it hard though I don’t have children, so I can’t imagine your stress. I hope you can work it out and that things will be better tomorrow. 
Thank you. I’ve made a plan for tomorrow, I will have the car which I didn’t have today and have arranged a nice outing for the children and my Mum will join us, so tomorrow already seems more positive in outlook. It’ll also give my husband a break from me and my grief, which I do understand he needs, so perhaps it’ll smooth us into the weekend a bit more neatly x
Bless you, a break from you and your grief 
I’m sorry for your grief, I know how tough it is x