It’s been 17 weeks today since I lost Alan, and I still can’t believe it. This pain is never ending.
A constant ache inside my chest, weeping eyes that just won’t rest
Eternal sadness is a constant fear, a lonely life now you’re not here
A broken heart time cannot mend, a life without you I cannot comprehend
So hard to believe that you are gone, a stabbing pain I cannot move on
Losing you is the hardest thing I ever had to do
My heart is permanently black and blue
I’ll fake a smile when I can, but all I really want to do is see you again
It’s been 17 weeks since you’ve been gone
And I still ask myself why I can’t mend this heartache since the day you died.
My Darling David passed 14 weeks ago, the pain is constant, I try to be strong but all I want is him back , I cry every day , it is still surreal , how do you survive this loss?
I echo Alston56 sentiments. Life is just a daily struggle and all I want is to see my husband even just for one last time, for an opportunity to tell him how much I love and miss him and to at last have an opportunity to say goodbye and to ask him to wait for me.
I’m so sorry for your loss - the pain of grief is so hard to bear. It’s almost 7 months since I lost my husband of 48 years so I’m a little further on in this journey but it is not getting any easier. I find that friends are moving on in their lives but I don’t want to move on without my lovely husband. I don’t want to leave him in the past. The only people who properly understand how this wretchedness feels are the ones writing on here who have also suffered this awful loss. I understand and feel the same pain. Wish I had a cure for it.
Sending a virtual hug
The reality is that we will grieve forever. We will not get over the loss of our love ones, we have to learn to live with it. We will heal and we will rebuild ourselves around the loss we have suffered. We will be whole again but we will never be the same.
I’m 3 month into this horrendous loss. Some people said I should move on. I have to turn the page and let go of the past. What happened has happened and nothing is going to change it. I know.
But my days with my lovely wife were so beautiful that I don’t want it fade in the past. And I find myself ill equipped to face a future so strange and terrifying without my soulmate. I’m stuck in here and this is so grueling.
How can we move on. I had 34 years with my husband - that can’t be moved on from in 3 months. I can’t bear the thought of another 34 years without him but I think it would take at least that long to ‘move on’ and I don’t even think I could then. What I have found is that I feel more tired every day, like I’m running a marathon. I try to go for a walk each day to get some exercise but I am just totally wiped out every day. At least with a marathon there is an end. I don’t know how long I can keep this gruelling journey up for.
I feel just the same. Every thing is such an effort and there seems to be no end to this torment, heartache and pain.
I miss him all the time, I know in my head he has gone, but my heart still won’t accept it. It gets no easier and I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.
“A thousand words can’t bring you back I know because I’ve tried and neither would a million tears I know because I’ve cried”
A well meaning family member told me I needed to get help because I sounded down. I am very close to this relative and they are well meaning but so many people think that the grief that we are feeling can be pushed to one side. I was 18 when me and husband met and now I am 61. The pain is only getting worse, I too cannot consider or want years ahead without my husband so I live in the day and that’s it. The good weather - something else that people feel is a miracle cure for our pain - just adds to my heartache as I just sit and think of all the things we would have been doing together.
As you say sad2 our brains tell us that they have gone but our heart just aches for the one we love and need.
I’m not the kind of person who haven’t experienced hardship. But in all the difficulties I’ve been through my wife was always by by side; we could cry together in times of despair(we often did). And we had hope that one day perhaps our dreams might come true; perhaps we would lead a better life. There was something we looked forward to…
Grief is different. It seems there’s no end. The only route of escape is when I am asleep. All my wake time is filled with heartache, loneliness and emptiness.
the good weather, the easing of covid, the ‘good things’ have no meaning to me any more. Grief is so evil that even if I have fleeting moments of joy it gives me even more sorrow because my love one would never be able to share with me.
That’s the problem, our - ‘go to’ person isn’t there. The person who would be with us through hard times, the person who would support us, the person who could give advice or a different perspective, the person who would love us unconditionally, has gone. That leaves a massive empty hole that can’t be filled.
It’s 18 months since my husband of43 years, every day is getting harder, I feel nothing but pain every day, I tried Suicide with pills, but was found and spent 3 weeks in hospital, so don’t try that, every day seems to get longer and lonelier, I haven’t any family to turn to, I am trying to get get counciling, but once a week talking hasn’t helped. If anyone has any advice I would be so grateful I feel all. Your pain mags
Oh Mag, it’s so hard isn’t it - especially without any family around. Please try to get some help - you can talk to Cruse online or ring the Samaritans. I found the website refugeingrief.com useful as well. Keep posting here - there will be someone who responds. We can’t take the pain away but we can understand. Sending hugs