She will always be a part of me,but I don’t recognize myself any longer after losing my wife.
It’s coming up to the 4th year on 17th August.
I completely changed and could not function.
Even the smallest everyday task was so insurmountable !. Depression anxiety filled my days. You feel like a zombie with the medications your advised to take. I still get hot flushes, shortness of breath and panicky feelings lasting 10 to 15 minutes or so.
I m slowly trying to manage these feelings better.
But I’ll never be the same without my soulmate.
Changed forever. It’s what I feel .
It is coming up to three years for me. I too don’t recognise the person I am now. I function as you do but I take no genuine pleasure in life anymore. I smile and I laugh and I try to make people around me think I am doing alright but inside I am not. The only time I am genuine is when I am alone and I can safely acknowledge how I feel. I understand where you are only too well but I can offer no advice as I can’t help myself. I feel I am just marking time until one way or another i will be reunited with him. If there is an afterlife then fine but if not our ashes will be mixed together and we will never be separate again.