Here I am alone, no one cares. No phone calls, nothing.
Without His Love I am nothing.
In my prison cell, not even a rat for company, starved of his love I wait to die.
I have tried to have some sort of life, tried so hard to be positive.
It’s impossible. He haunts me, memories, everything that was, never to be repeated. No more us, just me in my Prison Cell, left to rot while the world carries on, without My Love. No more Andy. Nothing but endless agony, unbearable pain in this Prison Cell I call my life.
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That description of grief is so correct and I am sorry did your loss as futile as that sounds from a stranger x
I too have no one or few calling, visiting etc but on here people listen, understand and can empathise which offers some comfort however fleeting.
Would you like you like to talk about Andy more when you feel you can?
Suzanne x
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@M67 hello I am so very sorry you lost Andy and I’m sorry you are going through this heartbreak. It’s early days for you so it’s all very raw. Take one day at a time. That’s what I have been doing since April. I know what you mean about being alone. The only people I talk to are friends I made on here and they have shown more kindness and caring than anyone else. So I just want to say you are not alone even though I know it feels like you are. We are here for you and we care. I’m often around if you want to chat. Please take care sending hugs x
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Just to remind everyone on here we are lighting candles in rememberance of our loved ones 7oclock Christmas eve
We are all on a heartbreaking,painful journey,don’t know how I would have coped without everyone on here
Take care everyone Christine x
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You’re not alone we’re all on the same road as you, losing your other half is the worst thing ever and you’re right you’ll never be the same again, please it’s early days for you be kind to yourself tell family and friends that you need support, I remember early days we ran out of food and my neighbour had come to say sorry and said if you need anything I quickly gave her a list of food and although she was surprised I asked actually came back half an hour later with the food, nothing anyone can do or say can make you feel better but know we’re all with you sending love and hugs xx
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Hi Casey, it wii be 9 months on Xmas day since I lost my Andy. I don’t know how I got through this summer, I knew this time of year would be difficult, I’m just getting worse as time passes.
I know you lost your Pauline, I have spoken to you before.
Thank you so much for your reply, I would like to talk to you and I hope you feel that you can talk to me 
Thank you for your reply.
Thank you for your reply. It’s been 9 months now. I don’t have friends or family.
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Thinking of you today sending love and hugs xx
So sorry you are finding life so difficult. I found a call to the Samaritans really helped when I felt at my worst.
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Dear Maria,I feel exactly the same as you, after 11 months the pain is just as raw as when my David died.People get on with their lives and I suppose we are just forgotten , and they expect us to get on with ours,not realising the hurt we are in.Every day I’m shedding tears and Christmas Day was a bad day for me.Always here for a chat if needed .Moira
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Hi I find the worse thing is the changing emotions day to day, trying to manage anything and getting through the day it’s exhausting and it’s five months now since I lost the love of my life, Xmas has really shaken me up and set me back and now we have to get through new year and dread thinking that now I’ll say my husband died last year and it’s really upsetting me, I’m heartbroken, thinking of everyone on this dreadful road xx
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Hi Moira. I’m approaching 15 months. The pain and grief seem the same as day one— maybe a little worse They say it gets better. When??
Barbara
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Oh ,Barb
I wrote the same message to someone last week ! It will be 12months that I lost my David this Sunday.The pain is still as raw ,and the tears never seem to stop.Unless you experience what we have been going ,through,others I find haven’t a clue or even understand.Moira x
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Dear Barb11
At a similar timeline to yourself. The pain intensifies each day. I honestly believe for me it will only get better when I am reunited with my husband. Until then I try to summons up some energy to get through each day although still find myself staying in bed on occasions.
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Oh Sheila, I know there are so many of us in this horrific club, but I can’t take the crying anymore,. The loss hurts so so much that at times I just want to die. I miss everything about him. I think I loved him too much. We had 40 years together. I just feel like I lost my identity; and even though I get through the day, I hurt all the time.
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Dear Barb11
Yes, I know all those feelings. I was not seeing our grandsons today so stayed in bed until 1pm. Our little bungalow is just an empty place now. I try to keep on top of the jobs that my husband would have done but the rest of the place is just a total mess - like my existence now. I understand your comments about the crying and the hurt. I hid away and put the lap-top to one side over the festive period - seeing everyone posting their pictures and enjoying themselves as couples is something I struggle with. I know that I will never get the answer to my question of why we could not continue with our happiness but I still spend countless hours trying to work it out and come to some ‘liveable’ conclusion but it never happens. All I do know is that I cannot spend years ahead without my husband, it is just unthinkable.
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Yes. It is unthinkable. I keep telling myself I’m still here for a reason. So be it.
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Thank you, sorry this reply is so late, can’t stop crying, doing my best to keep going.
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