Grief is a rollercoaster

This morning, I managed to do a few things including something new for me,
my husband always dealt with it. So as mornings go, it was a better one.
I managed a bit more food than usual.

Now, I feel so depressed. It came on so quickly. These mood swings are so hard.


Hi @RoseGarden ,

I’m sure someone will be along to share their thoughts, but I just wanted to say thank you for so bravely sharing this with us. Keep reaching out,

1 Like

Hi @RoseGarden
Thats an achievements, doing something you havent had to deal with before. Just shows you’re stronger than you realise.
Then the low.
Unfortunately we are on this never-ending journey of highs and lows. I’m hoping that eventually there will be more highs than lows, as we come to terms with what has happened to us, and accept the changes in our lives
At the moment I feel a long way from doing that but am hopeful that one day I will be able to accept it and start to move on.
Take care
Big hugs


I agree. You are not alone in getting mood swings. I get very depressed and woke up today feeling very low. My partner died suddenly nearly 9 months ago and I still get terrible mood swings. At first I too found that I hard to learn to do things that my partner did and had to sometimes rely on a friend to help me. It really upset me that I could not do those things - I felt useless. Now it is depression caused by lonliness. Some days are not quite so bad but I wish I could wake up feeling better and face the day ahead on my own. So I know how you feel, depression is awful. The only thing we can do is to do something that can focus the mind. As I have written before I do Jigsaw puzzles - sometimes at 5.30 in the morning as it is better than lying in bed getting more and more depressed. Take care.


Its good that you are doing someone to occupy your mind. I play silly games on my phone or sometimes I knit.
But the highs and lows seem never ending.
My biggest lows are when I wake and realisation hits again, and when I go to bed, alone, no hugs, no kiss goodnight, no I love you
I’m going to collect Rogers ashes soon. I dont know how I feel about that.

Thank you.

I was hoping I would wake up feeling better but still feeling low.

It is a grey day which doesn’t help.

I will get up soon and get on with a few things. Hopefully, this will distract me.

As we all know, we just have to plod on through this depression and look forward to coming out the other side.

I feel that you and I are at very similar points on this awful journey.

I can now collect my husband’s ashes and was going to do it this week.
I will wait and see how I feel as I don’t want to get more depressed.

Sending big hugs as well! We’ll get through this xx

I agree we do seem to be at the same stage.
Im just waiting for my Grandaughter she’s coming with me to collect the ashes.
I couldnt face doing it alone

We will get through it with each others support and understanding. It’ll just take a while
Take care

1 Like

Thank you.

I totally understand about feeling useless.
I will soon have to replace lightbulbs in a couple of places.
One place is in the kitchen and they are particular types of bulb.
I have no idea which ones they are.
Mind you, by the time a bulb needed replacing, my husband could not remember which ones they were either. So I am following in his footsteps.
I have decided to put together a little book of such details!

This not the first dip and sadly I know it won’t be the last.

Whilst I would not wish this on anybody, it really helps to you and others on this site who totally understand.

Big hugs and thank you x

Today is a different day.

I don’t know why but I feel more positive.

So I am going to tackle some things inside, very rainy day.

I am someone who likes to understand things, so
I am curious as to what it is that changes my mood and outlook.
I feel I wake up to find out how I am feeling that morning.
Very strange.

I hope you have the best day you can.


Rose x

1 Like

I’m happy that you’re feeling better today. I do, too. Been to my 2nd singing lesson, a friend is coming over, another one just called and will join us. I think keeping busy, going out and about and speaking to people about anything all helps. I’m trying not to look at Steve’s messages to me as it can upset me. I will leave it til it makes me feel better. He would have got on with things as he was a tough man, I want to do him proud.

1 Like

Good morning Rose. I’m glad youre feeling more positive.
Its not raining here, yet, so I’m going to try and do some more in the garden. I’ve been to the town today to get some bits I needed, and of course I came home with bits I didn’t need.:face_with_hand_over_mouth:
I am trying to keep busy as it helps but I’m still pretty tearful. But I suppose looking back I’m nowhere near as bad as I have been, so maybe I’m beginning to live again, not how I wanted to but I’ve now got to make a new life. A life without Roger in it, but he will always be with me in my head and my heart
Maybe we have reached a turning point.

Take care
Hope you coninue to have a positive day
Love Liz xx


I have had a reasonable day.

Got on with quite a few things.

Now in tears, hopefully this will help.

Hope all of you have had the best day possible.

Rose x

Hi Rose.
After a shaky start I had a pretty good day.
I got on well in the garden, and I even did some knitting.
I spoke to Rogers son and he wants me to go and stay with them over the bank holiday for as long as I like, so thats really nice. Its good they still want to stay in touch.
And then tonight I had really good news, my brother was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer just before we knew about Roger, then they found tumours on his kidneys. The kidney tumours are benign and the prostate has responded to treatment so he’s going to be ok.
Of course its tinged with sadness. Rogers not here to share the good news. But I know he’d be so happy, even when he was really ill he used to worry about my brother.
I do hope this mood lasts, but its night-time, the worst time for me now.

Hope you sleep well

Lots of love
Liz x x


That is really good news xx

Yes its brilliant
I’m on a real high now,.it’d be nice if it would last

X x

I thought my reply was too short . Sorry.

That is positive , gardening and knitting. What are you knitting?

I have quite a bit of wool to use up (and fabric🫣).

I fancy knitting a multi-coloured cardigan in dk wool.
I’m wondering if I can find a free one online.

So glad, Roger’s son invited you to stay. That will be good for you.
Will you be my the sea?

Especially good news about your brother! What a relief for all of you.

I am so glad for you.

I hope you had a good sleep.


Rose xx

Thank you Rose.
Please don’t apologise, we don’t always feel like chatting.
Yes that was fantastic news. Just what we need at the moment.
I’m knitting a cardigan for Rogers great Grandaughter. Mind you the time its taking it’ll probably be too small by the time I finish :face_with_hand_over_mouth: I’ve found free patterns on line, so its worth a look.
Rogers son lives at Ramsgate on the cliff overlooking the sea, next to a lovely park. Roger and I would often walk from there to Broadstairs. I don’t think I’ll be able to, I’d find it too upsetting without him.
I had a good day yesterday, and then woke up in tears today. It’s like being a yo yo, constantly up and down.
I’m going to a coffe morning at the church this morning and this afternoon I’ll go and see some of Rogers friends in the pub.

I hope you have a good day. Its raining here and looks pretty miserable

Sending love and hugs
Liz x x

1 Like

It was very rainy yesterday. Sunny at 8 a.m., one of the cats kept on tapping me to get me up :smiley_cat:. Within 20.minutes it was overcast and still is.

Yesterday I was ok until teatime, then you know what happened.

I really don’t understand why but for quite a long time. my down time has started between 4-7 p.m. It’s so strange isn’t it.

You have made me think about looking into local coffee mornings in the area.

Are there are particular sites you used for the knitting patterns?

Going to check the weather forecast in the hope of good news :crossed_fingers:t2::crossed_fingers:t2:

Hope your day is positive.

Lots of love,

Rose x

It’s funny how certain times are bad. Did you used to do anything paticular at that time?
I didn’t use a particular site, just seatched free knitting patterns, you can add ladies jumper or whatever you’re after to narrow down the search.
The coffee morning I’m going to is the Church one. As you know I’ve started to go to church again. I’m not particularly religious but neither am I irreligious.
Imm sure there must be something in your area.
Whereabouts are you?

Sorry sent that a bit too soon.
Big hugs x x

1 Like