Grief is exhausting

It’s been nearly 3 months since my mom passed away. I feel so exhausted by grief? I think about my mom every second of every day. It’s hard to imagine ever feel any kind of normal again.

I still can’t believe this is all real.

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I feel the exact same way @Becca_d :disappointed: It’s so tiring being so sad all of the time. It really takes it out of you. And I have to go to work and carry on my life, which is also so exhausting, and no one at my work understands. I have to put on a front just to get through the day. It’s shocking as we’ve gone our whole lives with our mum, so I imagine it’ll take a long time for us to process the fact they are no longer here? It’s been 2 and a half months for me, and I still just expect her to walk back through the door. I can’t believe this has happened. It is hard when you wake up and your mum not being there is your first thought, and it’s your last thought as you close your eyes to go to bed, and it’s every other thought throughout the day, just under the surface of whatever you’re doing, waiting to rear it’s head again and remind you and its so shocking each and every time. I understand that. It’s awful :pensive: I’m so tired and so sad all of the time xx

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I am so sorry you feel the same. I struggle at work too, feel so alone and isolated. I just live in this fog daily and no idea how I get through my working day. It’s like we rock up to work because that’s what we do. Grief is all consuming, a feeling that is so hard to describe. I want to tell my mom so much, but she’s not there. You’re right it’s hard feeling sad all the time.

Just know you are not alone in how you feel. I am with you and feel the same. Take care. As my friend says one day at a time, no expectations.

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Thanks for your kind words @Becca_d. It’s true, we can only take things one day at a time. If I look too far in the future, it just looks bleak. You’re not alone either xx

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You are not alone i feel the same . Not day goes by when i dont think about my dad. Silly things like looking at sweets for Christmas .
Saw dads favourite wine gums , had me in tears , god bless to you x x

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I just want to tell my mom so much. I know everyone says I can still talk to her, but I can’t, she’s not here. It is so exhausting being sad all the time.

You’re right it’s the little things that get you. Take care

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I get people telling me that too, @Becca_d, that I can still talk to her. And I do talk to her. But it’s obviously not the same. I can imagine certain things she might say back to me, but it just makes me so sad that she’s not here to actually say it, and I know how sad she would feel that she’s not here to say it too. I often feel like maybe I’d feel different, if she’d been ready to go, if she’d been much much older or at complete peace with it. But she wasn’t. She had so much life left to live and really wanted to get better and stay with me. I struggle with that a lot and don’t know what to do with those thoughts? I just go round and round, so not at peace with it Xx

I found that with grief it is like one huge brick coming out of the sky and man does it really really hurt. Sometimes you don’t see it coming till it’s way too late. It’s how you deal with it. Do you let it get to you or do you face it head on. I know that I can’t ignore it. The more I ignore it the more it hurts so deep
It is exhausting it takes a lot to grief. I’ve noticed grief likes to torture and punish you the more you grief. In between tears I feel slight relief and the grieving process will leave you alone till something happens to trigger the torture. You’ll have good days and you’ll have bad days. In the background grief is always there
For me a trigger is this Friday November 24th 2023 seven years I lost my mum. I am prepared for Friday but I don’t need a trigger I’m feeling the trigger right this minute. Friday is going to be one hell of a day that I know I will get through it with the support of my family. I found that everyone unites in grief you can get through it. Keep telling yourself that.
Another important thing be kind to yourself take care of yourself and find comfort in things that make you feel happy keep holding on

I am not a peace with things either. We only found out 2 hours before my mom died that she had terminal cancer. It was a shock, but deep down I think I knew she was seriously ill. No one listened to me for the last 6 months of her life and that hurts. I am waiting for the GP to release my mom’s medical notes, they are dragging their feet. I need some sort of closure as to why it was missed. I am not sleeping either as all I can think about if my mom.

She was young, but she wasn’t old. She was 74. Up u til Feb she was and active independent person & it breaks my heart to see what happened. She had so much to live for and she wanted to live. But she had no chance, she didn’t know what was wrong with her. So many Dr’s missed it.

I am grateful we can talk on here, but sad as well that we are all going through this pain.

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I am so very sorry and disheartened to read what happened. My heart goes to you.
It’s typical drs miss diagnose it happened to my mum. To this day I detest the countess of Chester hospital and royal Liverpool hospital I will never ever forgive them both. They both played a part in my mum leaving me and my dad. We have never had any closure it’s true doctors cover things up and they bloody well know they lied and contributed to my mum going. If I had my way I’d have them done for medical neglect and I hope they found out what it’s like to live like I’m doing. I wish them a life of hell

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I am so sorry to hear this. It’s really tough. It’s all the what if’s & maybes. We shouldn’t have to go through this. I just feel so lost and broken. I miss my mom so much and o want her here. There are no other words. I know all the “you were lucky to have her as your mom” & “she’d want you to be happy” etc etc. The one thing I want, I can’t have and that breaks my heart. I feel so sad for my Dad too, he is the gentlest soul and he should have had more time left with her. My kids have been robbed of the best Nan.

It’s all just so unfair.

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No we didn’t ask to have our families robbed. This is what the so called medical profession does. They will be sorry they took my mum away from us. If it takes my last dying breath to exact revenge on those who did this then it’ll be worth it. It’s ok for them they don’t have live with this heartbreak and sadness.i hope they suffer like I am doing. My mum was only 70 years old and she had so many years left. It destroys me to know I’ll never get ro hear her voice ever again I’m only 57 years old I feel my life is going nowhere without my mum. I do a job where I’m abused every single day but it’s made me tough and ruthless. Their abuse does not hurt me one bit. I never used to be this strong but since my mum left me none of them fazes me I just wish I could talk to my mum to tell her about how proud she’d be of me

I’m so sorry to hear this my mum was the same, it’s been 6 months, she was still working when she became ill, she had cancer so bad they couldn’t do anything, truly heartbreaking , some of my friends have been supporting me but they don’t understand unless they have been through it x

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I totally understand how your feeling… I feel the nhs is rubbish after how I lost my mam… the lies they tell… half of them just cba.

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My mom deserved better, she deserved to be cared for. She was the most gentle kind soul you could ask for. I miss her so much :cry:

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Hello
Well I happen to think something stinks in our nhs. We’re not just talking it’s been creeping in to the nhs for the last 13 years since this horrible government came to power but it’s been going since the days of thatcher. The nhs does not offer proper end of life care and nor does it look after patients who are seriously unwell. I seen it with my mum before she left me. I will never ever forgive the two hospitals involved. If I could sue them I would I’d have both of them shut down to sort them out

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Your mom was like my dad she was not young but not old. He was 72 for weeks and weeks in Feb struggled just to get an appointment and make them see he was really sick. I knew deep down he had cancer he was diagnosed in April. I found the nurses were more kind sensitive and understanding. The nhs is not coping with how they need to react to cancer ,which is robbing families of more time they should have had. I lost my dad in July and i am trying to blot out the many mistakes that were made by doctors. I try to think about good kind people that are with him , and move away from the last painful 24 hours which he spent in hospital but it does creep up on me at times. May you find some peace and confort in opening up on this website xx

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If anyone on this thread is thinking of filing for medical negligence, I came across this charity that can help: https://www.avma.org.uk/

I intend on seeking justice for my dad and our family because his life threatening but treatable condition was missed in primary care. Despite being >75 he was seen by someone with no nursing or medical qualifications.

Also, in future if you are having trouble getting a GP to listen, Spire offers 30-minute appointments that are only just over £100 (at least where I live, anyway).