Grief is getting worse from the loss of my Mom

My wonderful Mom passed away in August last year. Totally unexpected and I feel that the grief is getting worse. I cannot stop crying. I’m divorced and on my own. I knew my Mom was my best friend but realised tonight, she was my companion and stopped me being lonely. I feel utterly lost without her love and guidance.

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I’m sorry to hear of your loss Sarah.

I too lost my Mum February this year. It sounds like we had similar relationships with our Mum’s. I miss her badly. We did not live close by but she was my go to person if I needed help, validation or just a chat. I miss her texts and our updates on the phone. I don’t feel my closest friends can come close to what she provided me with. Mum’s know us from our very beginning, they are proud of us like nobody else is, they can tell it how it is and listen to us and keep us grounded.

Lockdown exasperates everything and I hope that as lockdown starts to ease you will find comfort being able to see family and friends. People who knew your Mum and whom you can meet face to face and share memories.

Have you spoken to a bereavement councillor?
I have began to read Jeff Braziers book, The Grief Survival Guide. I’m not long into it but it is helping me.

Being on here is helpful. I wouldn’t want anyone to have to experience grief but speaking to others who are experiencing loss is a comfort to know we are not alone in this journey.

I look back at our text messages and it gives relief it just reminds me of the love we had for each other, fun we shared and keeps her spirit alive.

Sending you lots of best wishes x

Hi Deb,
Thank you for your reply. I’m sorry that you lost your Mom too. We do seem to have had similarly close relationships with our Moms. Unfortunately she couldn’t text and I don’t have any voicemails from her. I thought I was coping but realise now that I’m worse than ever. My sons can’t talk about their Nan and my grief is so strong that it’s affecting them, so I don’t cry when I’m with them. My Mom lived in the same road as me which is making it more difficult. I never got the chance to say goodbye, she would have been wondering why I wasn’t with her. The guilt I’m carrying is becoming too much for me to bear. I haven’t been able to get counselling, so thought I’d turn to the internet. I’m glad I found this site as I know I’m not on my own.
Best wishes, you too are in my thoughts.