Grief of loosing my mum

Hi my name is michaela and in July last year my mother passed at home with me by her side . I had been her carer for over 26 years . I feel completely lost without her .I have a wonderful husband and 4 great kids .I’m trying to cope with my grief but need support and help please

Michaela, you have done so much. Been a carer for all those years, a husband and four children! You are a Wonder Woman. I am pleased you have reached out and that is the start of you getting some life for yourself. If you haven’t had counselling then you should look into starting some. We have our own Sue Ryder and also there’s Cruse and also your GP may be able to help but it is your choice.
On this site we have all been through losing some special and know the devastating effects it has and we will all support you with love and blessings. Take care S xx


Thank you for your kind response to my post .I had a 6 week bereavement support but did not feel it helped

Please think about trying again, it doesn’t always work but also you have moved on a little since you had the counselling and perhaps use a different charity. The counselling I had didn’t seem to be doing any good but a few months on I felt it had given me the tools to manage my different life. It felt useless at the time, I just cried for the whole time I was there.see how you feel. The other thing I had was alternative therapies which really did it, relaxed and able to sleep and I still use them. S xx

I tried to use the link but it does not let me submit the second page .get a error box up .I know I’m not in a good place at the moment and feel very depressed. I want to try and cope better with my grief and will try anything.thank you

Hi @Michaela13,

Thank you for bravely starting this thread. As @SusieM has said, you have been through so much - you have done the right thing by reaching out for support.

If you are continuing to have issues registering for our Online Counselling Service, please can I ask you to contact them directly on - a member of the team should be able to help you, next week.

Take care - please know you do not need to struggle alone,


Megan , thank you I will definitely try and contact them again tomorrow once I have a quite moment. Thank you for your response to my message

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Hi michaela13
I’m sorry to hear of the loss of your mum, I too lost my mum on 10th July 2021 and after her diagnosis I wanted her home so she could be with dad and all her family I gave up my job and cared for her for the 6 weeks we had her :cry: the district nurse and the hospice team and carers that offered their help made mum as comfortable as she could be, I too was with her till the end and I’ve struggled every day without her, I’ll never accept she has gone I still feel alot of guilt that she’s not here, I had counselling too with cruse and although it was nice to speak to someone outside the family unit I Don’t feel it helped , I know no one can really help you when you lose a loved one especially someone so close as a mum, it’s our own grief to get through the best we can but it’s so hard, I’ve never felt pain like this, like you mentioned the feeling of loss is so overwhelming grief is a love that has no where to go and unless you have been through it no one can truly understand how you feel, I just live for each day, can’t honestly say I look forward to anything at the moment I just try for my dad as I know he must be so devastated inside after losing his wife and best friend of 71 years :pensive: life is cruel sometimes this forum does help to know your not alone in your grief, always here for a chat, take care
Lynn x

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Hi Lynn, thank you for reaching out to me .I’m sorry to hear your mother as passed away also .nothing prepares you for the pain of loosing your mum i have never cried so much I had cared for my mum for over 26 years when she first got diagnosed as having kidney failure. At the time my mother was the type of person that hated going to the doctors and I had to trick her into thinking I was booking a taxi to take her out for lunch . Instead it pulled up at the doctors , she had bloods taken and within hours she was rushed for emergency surgery .weeks after we found out she had cervical cancer and she then spent months having treatment. Although she beat this she never really got her health back to normal so I gave up my job to be her full time carer . Towards the end of her life she had been bed bound had dementia and Alzheimer’s. I was doing all her care day and night . All her medication, feeding her personal care .then she passed away , I was with her the morning this happened I felt helpless standing there almost felt like I had stepped out of myself and was watching .I guess stock of the situation im glad that i had a marie carey nurse with me .Now the emptiness. I don’t think I will ever get over this and it does not get easier

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My mum died in November 2013 from Alzheimer’s. My brother, sister and myself had rotas to look after mum and dad with help from carers. She had it for quite a few years before it deteriorated to the extent that she had to go into a care home. We had dad to look after at the same time and again had a family rota to look after him. He had copd and died in February 2015. I recently lost my husband (September 202I). It’s not easy but I think we have to look at the good memories and not the bad as we can be consumed by them. Thinking of you it’s not an easy journey xx

I’m so sorry to hear about your lose :pensive: I’m trying to hold on too her memories and I think about her all the time I know she’s now at peace which is the only comfort I have . I believe I’m suffering from separation issues as I’ve always been with mum , there was never really a time that she did not live with me . The house feels so empty and quite which has become unbearable at times . My son has taken her room on as I know she would have wanted him too .the room looks so different now which in a way has helped me because I don’t feel overwhelmed going in there now . Thank you for your message will be thinking of you also and hope you can find some peace in your grieving x

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