Grief Pain Heartache

Unable to sleep for the last 8 days since my husband passed suddenly. He was everything to me and I was married 36 years. I feel my heart has been ripped apart and life without him is going to be hard. Everyone says take one day at a time but at the moment the pain and grief is overwhelming. During the day I try to keep busy but at night I miss his presence, his company, his smile, his goodnight kisses.


Hi @Galaxy75 Very sorry to hear of your loss. 8 days is no time at all and you are bound to be experiencing loss and a mix of strong emotions. If it is easier, try taking things 1 hour at a time or 1 small task at a time. I lost my partner around 5 months ago, and even though it was expected it was still a shock when it happened and we were together nearly 25 years. Nightimes and weekends can feel empty but hopefully you will find some support on these forums. Grief is different for all of us - don’t let people tell you how you should be feeling or tell you things like you’ll be able to move on after the funeral. Your grief & mine is personal to us and people who haven’t suffered the loss of a partner don’t often get how it feels which can make it difficult to get the support we need from family & friends. Your GP should be supportive and might be able to offer some advice regarding sleeplessness and should be able to refer you for counselling if that’s what you think you need. Sue Ryder also offers counselling (Online Bereavement Counselling Service | Sue Ryder). In the meantime, we’re pretty much all in the same boat and there are some very helpful & kind people on these forums, so check back from time to time and hopefully you will get the support you need.


Hi so sorry for your loss i agree the evening and nights are the worse the pain i feel after losing my darling husband 5 weeks ago is awful any time you want to chat i will always be here to listen xxx


Hi @Galaxy75
So sorry got you
Everything that @JustSomeBloke said is spot on

The most important thing to remember is that it is YOUR grief , he was YOURS.
You go at your own speed , in your own time, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

I lost my darling husband August 24th last year. Most of the time it feels like yesterday.
I didn’t find this site until may, but it has helped me.
Read our posts, take comfort from the fact that others know how you are feeling and 'get you '.
Write when you want, and know you can say whatever you want, no one here will judge you.
We all have our own unique stories, our own unique grief and are at different points along the journey, but we all care about each other.

Big hugs to you and everyone :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

1 Like

@JustSomeBloke is absolutely right and gives very sound advice.
I struggled with sleep at the beginning, waking at 3am every morning, without fail. I would spend hours just going over everything and analysing everything and trying to work out what has happened and what will be.
It’s all consuming at the beginning. Please take it an hour at a time.
Best wishes.


Another sleepless night. Woke up and cant stop crying. I miss my husband so much if feels like my heart has been ripped out. Fathers Day approaching too.
I am currently in limbo due to his sudden death over
9 days ago and dont
even have a death certificate yet and no way of knowing why this happened and
he was taken from me. He was one of the good people in life so kind gentle loving helpful why was he taken so soon.
I miss him so much xx



I’m so sorry darling.
There is nothing I , or any one on her can say to help.
9 days is such a short time.
Your pain is intense and raw.
I/we hope you have some family or friends with you.
I’m glad you’ve found this site. Read when you want , and write when you want, someone will always reply.
We all have our own unique grief and are at different points.
But whether it’s 9 days, 9 months (as it is for me) or 9 years…we all understand the utter sadness, and gut wrenching pain of losing our soulmates.
You just take your time, grieve in your own way, cry when you want, and scream when you want.
We are all with you.
Love and hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs:


My dear lady,i know and feel your pain my husband too passed suddenly 12 days ago he was 72 and my whole world has fallen apart i am 66 and we were married for 49yrs i have known him for 50 yrs so it is a big part of my life completely gone ,the pain you feel there is nothing to compare with it i totally get the missing his pressance his smile humour advice when i need to talk the gentle hugs of reassurance all gone in a whisper 36 yrs is a long time to have shared your life together and i know this nightmare we have been given is part of our journey and no ammount of kind words no matter how meaningful they are meant can take the raw grief we are going through i was and still am inconsolable at times , i hope you find some solace on this forum as there are a lot of good kind people that have been through and are still going through this pain and you can come here when you need to offload your feelings knowing we are all with you god bless and i am sending you love and hugs :heartpulse::people_hugging:xx


Thank you for your kind words.
I know i am not alone in this pain and grief

Another sleepless night.
I will go for a walk later once i get myself together.


Thank you
I know everyone on this forum are going through this horible pain
We both survived covid and caner 2 years ago although i am still on 3 monthly appointments at hospital which will he hard on my own.
My mum has alzheimers so cant even tell her about husband so sad


This is so sad for you i am so humbled when i read what you have been and are still going through i wish you the strength and love to keep going and stay here with everyone so you can speak out whenever you need a listening ear :heartbeat:xx

Thank you for your kind words.
Just had a complete meltdown today.
My husband was only 63 and i like you i am 66. Dont really have much family around and my daughter will be l her was from Australia as soon as we have an idea regarding arranging funeral. I do have a very good friend but she stays quite far away but phones me everyday to see how i am so thats great.
Still tomorrow’s another day hope its better than today. Planning on visit to garden centre as its father day to buy my husband a present Take care x


I know honey - i was married 34 yearsand its awful isnt it xxxx

Thats really nice your friend rings you everyday xxx