It’s nearly 4 weeks since my very fit and seemingly well Mum died after becoming suddenly ill with an aggressive cancer. I’m just coming to terms with her death, after the initial shock. I was with her at the end and in the last week. I’m suddenly full of aches and pains in my lower back and hips and sore throat, and exhausted. Guessing it’s all part of the grief. Feel very heavy and sad. Allowing the feelings to come and go but hard in what now feels like a post apocalyptic landscape without Mum. Missing her terribly. Hard to imagine ever feeling ok again.
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I’m so very sorry that you are having to go through this. It is the most horrible feeling. I lost my mum and dad last year within 8 weeks of each other. I’m still very much one day at a time. Grief affects absolutely everything. I go through phases where it literally takes my breath away. Sending you my love x
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So sorry for your loss garden girl. Your body and mind are taking a battering so make sure you try and look after yourself as much as you are able to (easier said than done). I lost my mum in April and struggling every day with the loss. “Apocalyptic landscape” is such an accurate description. I had chest pains after the passed due to stress, I thought I was developing heart disease as I had never known pains like it, but they went after a few weeks. The mind and body are very much inter-connected.
I hope you have family and friends to support you through this awful time.
Sending you strength and hugs x
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@Garden_girl so sorry for your loss 
I lost mum in June to cancer and I can relate to physical pain, a very sore throat and couldn’t swallow and pain in my lower back. So much to take in, the death of a loved one and everything you have to do after it’s very much delayed shock and our bodies go into flight or fight.
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Thankyou so much for your message. I could not and dared not imagine how painful it would be when Mum died. I am so sorry to hear that your parents died so close together in time. So hard and unfathomable. Life has changed forever. Sending you love x
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Thankyou - that must have been frightening to experience chest pains. I have felt my heart will just break - incredible the really physical sensations and the heaviness. I just have to keep lying down at the moment and then there’s the feeling that I just have to sleep. I’m lucky that I’m able to take the time, and have support around me. I’m not good at sharing it though so probably need to learn to do that better. It feels easier anonymously somehow. Love and hugs x
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Thankyou - and so sorry about your Mum. It’s early days and perhaps still quite unbelievable - as you say, shock, and so much to take in and process. I think I was quite dissociated for the first couple of weeks and in the week leading up - I wanted to just be as usual with Mum to kind of let her know I’d be ok and. It to worry. Amazing what we do isn’t it. So perhaps our bodies - having held a tightness for a time, at this point start to unwind - let all the pain come now because it’s alright. I don’t know. It’s all a bewildering time now. Love and hugs x
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We are so wrapped in a loved one’s illness and being strong for them I don’t think we really process the inevitable. When Dad passed in 2014 it was 7 weeks from being diagnosed to him passing, I’d not even processed he had cancer & I’m sure that you are going through exactly the same with such a short amount of time
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Yes I think that’s it - it was a very short time. As you say, with only a short time from diagnosis, we’re left in the free math processing what on earth just happened. Mum was so strong. It was less than a month from Mum thinking she’d pulled a muscle in her side, to the day she died, and just 12 days from diagnosis with metastatic cancer. She was incredibly stoic and brave. I feel glad for her that it wasn’t long and drawn out, but cross that she didn’t have more time to live her life well, and incredibly sad to know I’ll never see her again
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I was same … i was convinced i was gonna have a heart attack with the stress on my body and the physical pain caused by grief. At the time i was so upset that i actually didnt care 
xx
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Really tough, and I think so much is going on inside us it does feel that anything is possible now. Every day I’m getting different aches and pains, and intermittently utterly exhausted. x
Its very esrly days for you, you know. It will get bit easier with time but its a tough road ,lots of tears and sadness … and what ifs …just keep being kind to yourself … lots of self care xx
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Thankyou Deb5. Take care x
@Garden_girl I was surprised at how ill I felt after my Dad died. Aches, pains. Gastrointestinal issues. I then got a cold which I put down to a lower immune system. Ended up watching the Starwars trilogy wrapped in a blanket over 3 afternoons 
It’s 21 weeks today since he died & I’m still wading thru the exhaustion. Grief really does encompass everything
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I think that sounds like a good therapy, wrapped up watching films! I think I need to do something similar. I’m having to work this week, but in the down time just so tired and achey. Going to take leave for a few weeks and let my body do what it has to do I think! It’s 4 weeks today since Mum died. Can still hardly believe it. 
x
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