Grief still very painful

Over 2 years since my mum died, and I miss her more and more. Still doesn’t make sense. My dad less than 2years before that and am only child so feel like no one understands my grief

Hello Lucysue

Your mum and dad were always there for you and losing them both close together must make you feel so alone. Yes, I do understand your grief especially as you are an only child.
My mum and partner died within 3 months of each other and I miss them both so much.
They were always there for me and now I have nobody to share all our memories with or to keep my feet on the ground when I can’t think straight.

Have you thought about making a memory book of photos ? it can be comforting to look at the photos and remember the happy times you all had together.

Take care of yourself , J x

Hi thank you for that, yes I do have a loads of photos. Yes it’s difficult being a bereaved only child isn’t it! That must have been soooo hard for you. I just find myself unable to let them go perhaps and have such regular dreams about them, then wake up distraught. I suppose it’s how life is but non bereaved adults don’t really get your pain and so you end up not talking about it. At least we’ve had special parents!

Hi,

Lucy,like you i am an only child too,we share the same name also. I lost my Mum 10 months ago,and i am not the same person anymore,it has been the hardest 10 months of my life. I have my 11 year old son for support,but there are things i could only talk to my Mum about. I hope your ok,i am here if you would like to talk. I very much understand how raw you feel,Lucy xxx

Lucy, hi, I must apologise my name is Sue, I got a bit mixed up with usernames yesterday when registering! I do know what you mean about not being the same person, loss and grief definitely change you. Some comfort to me is I always felt incredibly loved by both parents and still feel loved by them now, unsure if I’m just kidding myself. For you it still is early days even though people stop talking about it to you as much and sometimes that’s all you want to do. I’m 55 so technically a grown up but it certainly makes you feel alone.no words can replace loss , I think time will help. X

Hi,Sue,Thank You for replying back to me,i hope that time does make it easier,i am 35,i was 34 last year when i lost my Mum,i feel to young. I still need my Mum,and my son his Nan. The mornings are the worst,i wake up and sometimes start retching to be sick. On top of all this i have been battling an illness for 6 years,as well as being a lone parent. Very tough at times. I hope that you feel better also in time,like you my Mum always did so much for me,with lots of Love and support,Lucy xxx

Hello Lucy
Oh you poor girl I felt I had to reply as I know the awful feeling of fear and anxiety that comes with loss. I lost dad 9 years ago suddenly and became a carer overnight for mum who had severe dementia she was my bestest friend. She died last year and I was with her til the end which has shocked me to the core and I’m totally lost. I am unable to have children and my only brother is estranged and never bothered to see mum before she died he just left me to it. My husband is very good but even he doesn’t totally understand as he has a large family and children. I feel totally alone and it’s a scary place. I suffer severe migraines and vomit frequently which I’m sure are not helped by my stress and grief. I feel that Every day is a day further from my lovely mum but I know she would want me to go on and enjoy my life and be happy so I try very hard for her. It’s hard as I’ve no interest in anything and I don’t suffer fools gladly now. I can’t make a decision to save my life and I have to be occupied 100% of the time to avoid feeling really down. Which is exhausting! Please don’t feel alone Lucy so many of us here feel all these awful feelings and I’m so glad I found this website. It helps me a lot and I hope it will help you. Keep plodding on take each moment at a time. Take care x

Bless all of you who are suffering. I lost my beloved mum, my rock, my angel 18 months ago and the pain is as raw as ever. I dream of her regularly - some happy dreams some very distressing. I’m 67 years old (yes, I know I’m lucky I had her for so long), I have a daughter and 3 grandchildren (whom sadly I don’t see that often) but I feel like a lost vulnerable waif of a child. No one to praise me, support me and share my stories with - only my mum could do that. I lost my dad many years ago and I have no partner. Does it ever get any easier? Does the pain and yearning ever subside? I thought it would; it did for a while but just when you think you’re doing ok…

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