Grief/stress making me ill

Hi, can I ask if anyone has ended up ill through stress or grief following the loss of their loved one? My left arm now leg have gone numb, started gradually at the weekend. I ended up in hospital yesterday on the advice of NHS24 and have been checked head to toe. Even had a CT scan as they think it’s neurological. All clear. I don’t feel ill, just this. Has anyone experienced anything similar. I lost my husband 4 months ago to Covid

Hi Linda
I lost my Mom March 2020 and I have been suffering terrible since my Mom was diagnosed the October before she died up to now
I had panic attacks and then my neck spasmed it lasted for months and still affects me I also had a heavy numb left arm
I have had so many Doctors conversations
it feels like my insides have twisted and not settled
i have avoided anxiety pills and i joined this community in the hope it will help
im lost without my Mom and I guess it will take a long time to adjust
I hope you feel some relief soon

Yes Linda, it does happen. I had a minor day op which very nearly turned into a major op. The consultant said it was due to me grieving. It did turnout ok but took many weeks and lots of old fashioned nursing which made the consultant smile but did say well done for beating modern medicine.
Try to relax and give yourself lots of ‘Me’ time it’s the only way forward but eventually things will be ok, well we all hope so. Sxxx

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Linda 21
Not a medical expert but read recently that stress can do this - referred to work stress but grieving could be the same. You can’t control grieving it is more likely to control you. I felt really sad recently 2 years after losing my wife but joining a gym and swimming does the opposite and makes you feel much better. It’s a nice gym attached to a hotel. A bonus is it gets me out of the house and I meet nice people. I will join a few classes for the same reason.

Hi Linda
I have heard of this sort of thing happening so many time in the two years I have been on this forum. I ended up in hospital also just a few months into my grieving and I had never even had an hospital appointment before so it was a shock to feel so awful. Its called a broken heart.
I have always been an active person and when I was ready resumed going to a gym. I am also a keen walker and being in the countryside is very therapeutic. I love gardening and grow my own veg and they are now acknowledging the help this can do for people with mental health issues and lets face it we are all going along that road when grieving. I have also resisted all tablets etc as I can’t think that anything has been invented that can help grief.
Good luck


I have stress related illnesses following my husband’s sudden death. Psoriasis which I have never suffered from before. I have also resisted any medication - me and husband never took any form of tablets not even paracetamol - so it is a very personal choice.

As you have said we are suffering from mental health issues as grief takes over our lives. I do not think this really acknowledged. The news keeps on mentioning mental health as a result of people being cooped up but no recognition for those who have lost loved ones during this period and have, for the most part, had to deal with this alone.

i had some serious panic attacks and otherwise pains in my chest / head and general exhaustion. A friend of my mum’s talks about the ‘physical exhaustion of grief’ and that just sums it up for me - I feel as though I’m waking around with a heavy weight on my shoulders and chest all the time.

Now it has been 6 months since my mum died and I have just learned how to carry it, it hasn’t got any lighter.

I ended up taking a whole extra month off sick from my work after going back after my bereavement leave. I know not everyone is in a position to do so, but it made an enormous difference to me, taking the time to just rest and try to care for myself a bit.

It’s so easy to think we should just be carrying on and doing our best, but I really think it’s important to give ourselves as much rest and respite as we need. Case in point - it’s still full daylight here at 9pm but I’m going to get ready for bed in the next half hour!

Thats exactly me

You are right and coping with grief as well as the Covid situation has made things extra difficult
talking to people really helps thank you

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I relate very much to the topic. It seems like a vicious circle that physical problems arise through stress and grief and then causing further stress.
My mum died in October and I cared for her the last few months. Since then a massive flare up in IBS. Shins splints, burning feet, throbbing hands, hand cramps. Arm aches. I ended up with a root canal in a tooth that just needed a ‘small’ filling and pain for two months.
I sleep badly, too.
The physical problems are also seeming to target my coping mechanisms, mindful walks ( I can only do a max 10 minutes a day).
I paint and draw, and try to journal, write three good things for each day. Difficult to do with hand problems and worsening my hand and arm problems. The lack of sleep worsens headaches, exhausts me. Makes it harder to not overact to any problems that come along. Which they keep doing!
I constantly feel I want to want to talk to someone, to have someone listen to me. But it’s my mum I want to talk to. Even typing this, or holding my phone up to speak to someone today is making my hands cramp and my arms ache. For goodness sake!

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Its a nightmare isnt it
I also had a root canal when my Mom first became ill then jaw and neck pain which lasted months and still flares up also IBS and chest pains sometimes i felt i couldnt breath properly my chest was so tight
grief really does affect your body and im not better after 14 months of my Mom passing
I wonder if ill ever feel well again
at least we can relate


How do you cope with numb limbs? I find even ironing one thing is difficult and I have to plan any necessary trips to doctors etc on a minimal walk from bus stops. So I can’t do more than one thing a day. Either doctor, or pick up medication. Either quick veg shopping (heavy stuff delivered), or visit library. All these involving only a total of about 10 minutes total max total of walking from bus stops. In March I was walking up to an hour a day.

it is exhausting i have heard people say a little at a time
its so tough
i font know how i got to work done days

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I did see an osteopath for my general pains and he did some massage
it really helped

Yes agree with Tess. Osteopaths and Chiropractors are excellent for aches and pains and can get to the root of the problem which can be in a completely different part of the body. Much more effective that Doctors and medication rarely cures. Worth a try if your suffering. I’m off to mine next week.

That’s the reason people need to be gentle with themselves during times of significant stress. I didn’t know at the time, but long term work stress coupled with a sudden, traumatic break up kicked off a chronic illness laying dormant in my genes. I’m now classed as disabled because of the lasting effects on my body, which will never go away. I have 24/7 physical pain, chronic body & mental fatigue, and there is no remedy or cure. My new grief is causing all sorts of flare ups.
Please treat yourselves with kid gloves, make decisions for yourself as if you were making them for someone you love deeply, take rest and relaxation whenever you can, and if non-urgent symptoms persist for longer than 3 months please keep pestering your gp. It can take years to get medical answers, so never feel guilty about putting your health and wellbeing first.

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Tired of battling for help with health issues. Now diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. Life long condition.
I went to dentist today to pick up what I thought was a new plastic tooth guard I wear at night because I grind and clench my teeth, which causes me dental pain.
The last one was made in a private lab to get it quicker,only paid the same as NHS one @ £200 which I can barely afford as I can’t work. They initially quoted £800! Then said I could have the equivalent NHS at £200, it just was a bit heavier and not as refined but would do the job. Already paid £100. When I got there today it’s a soft plastic one, which hurts when I put in it in my mouth as it doesn’t fit. The dentist swore blind she told that’s what it would be, and then saying she didn’t have the training and she’d checked with the dentist doing my last one. He was so pushy and dismissive to me before that I went to a different dentist. I have trouble sleeping vat night so having additional facial pain makes it all worse. Why is no one honest? I’ve just wasted £200. I’m sure they’ll just say that’s all there is,and I got it wrong.

Last one hard plastic as I just chew t he soft ones and make my pain worse

I wondered how you were doing
i to have had a lot of pain in my feet legs and arms its worse in the morning sometimes i dont have any energy ive not had a day of feeling well since my mom passed 18 months ago

Sorry you are suffering with this as well as grief. Have you spoken to a Doctor? I got referred to a Rheumatologist with similar symptoms. I eventually the patient liason service involved and got an earlier appointment. I got a spinal scan by self referring to local NHS physiotherapist. The doctor didn’t think it was worth doing any tests! Now waiting for a pain clinic assessment referral video appointment. Taken 6 months. Have been offered any help by anyone?