Grief tears are healing tears

Hi Mary, Hope I’m not disturbing your TV watching, I’m not bothering I’m afraid.
I never knew that I had so many tears in me until now. I was never encouraged to cry and rarely did in front of people. Even now I am usually on my own when I cry. I now try to keep a smile on my face when with people but the tears come when I’m alone… I never saw my mother or Nan cry or show any emotion so this is probably why. Now I cry at every little thing. I couldn’t watch a sad film now.
Carry on watching the general election, I will just wait for the news tomorrow that’s if I bother to switch it on. Absolutely fed up with it.
Love
Pat xxx

I cry in public, although i try my best not to. Tears come in shops or walking in a town. It quite unlike me, but the feelings which come on are overwhelming. I can fight it and stop it sometimes, but sometimes I just think it’s good to let it out. I’m normally someone who would just cry at home and not that often.

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Hi Pat, I would rather communicate with you than watch TV. I feel the same as you do regarding the Election, it is something different to watch, I swear I shall scream if I hear one other commentator mention Brexit . Stan and I always watched any election results, another first for me.
Love, MaryL

Hi Daffy, those tears just come don’t they. I have now learned to fight them. I’m like you (usually) don’t cry in public even funerals. I have been out with friends and longed to have a good cry but will wait until I close my own front door but do agree it’s better to let it all out and release that terrible tension.

I’m with you there Mary, let’s all have a good scream. Afraid I have very little understanding of politics and Brexit bores me silly now. I was once interested but now I can’t make head or tail of anything, too confusing. I have took to switching the TV off or changing channels if they start on this subject. Brian used to sit up watching the results but I went to bed.
Pat xxx

Just because you cry doesn’t mean you’re not still that strong woman. You’re bearing the worst pain and that makes you a warrior! I thought I was strong but this knocked me sideways…I might as well have been hit by a bus. That’s what it feels like. But we are healing slowly, and if crying helps…cry x sending love to you all. Keep those tissues handy x

Crying is the new me. I suspect it will be a part of my personality for a long time. I never truly knew what grief was until I lost my Mum.

I’m so pleased I found this site, it has helped. I watched the Poseidon adventure yesterday, apparently it’s a Christmas film. I think they climb up a Christmas tree to escape. But the lone man said about grief , you want to collapse right now but in time you will find things that bring you joy and something to care about. Weird how I film since I watched as a child has a different meaning.

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Yes agree, crying also the new me. I even had tears when doing my Zhumba class this week. Mariah Carey’s ‘All I want for Christmas is you’ It set me off but I continued dancing. I have got through the loss of other people dear to me, parents. grandparents and thought after a few months of losing my Brian I would be alright. Ha, hadn’t bargained on that Grief Monster and it’s reluctance to have any compassion. Yes it does knock us sidewards, a good way of putting it… We must all search for that light that can bring us joy. It doesn’t mean that we have to stop crying or forget. I think of my tears as a tribute and a show of how much I love Brian. xxxx

Tears are a compliment to the loved one for whom we are crying, Pat. Grief is the price we pay for love and it is worth every tear.
As we approach the New Year, I wish you and all the rest of the people here, a very safe and peaceful New Year.
Love and God Bless,
MaryL x

Thankyou Mary and the same to you. I agree grief is the price we pay. The tears will never stop but it is my tribute to Brian.
Pat xxxx

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I have felt more tearful, Pat has time as gone by.:broken_heart: The last words my Stan spoke to me were “I do love you loads” I am so thankful that before he died I replied, “and I love you loads too”. At the most, 30 minutes later he had died, I know that I am 80 years old and he was 84, I am so grateful that we had 3 weeks short of 59 years together, we were lucky.
Blessings,
MaryL

My dear Mary, that is just lovely, to know that your beloved Stan was thinking of you like that. Unfortunately for a few days before Brian died he wasn’t really with me. He was so confused and I’m afraid some of the things he said to me were not that nice although he did make me smile. The last meal we shared was three days before he passed and he woke up and wanted boiled egg and soldiers, which of course he got. Another time he woke while I was washing him and he told me “Your nothing but a bl***y nuisance”. Another time he said “You know that Pat, she goes at everything like a bull in a china shop” He knew me so well, although not as I am now. I told him continually as I looked after him how much I loved him although I wasn’t sure he could hear me. However he did wake and say “Why do you keep telling me you love me” I said “Because I do, my darling” I don’t know if he understood.
When there is so much love there is no age limit. The pain of the loss is still there and our hearts are still capable of being broken.
I too was blessed after two broken marriages I met Brian and marriage was the last thing on my mind, thank goodness I followed my heart and had thirty years of happy marriage.
The tears have never stopped for me and I have passed the first year. I don’t think they ever will. However I keep busy and mix but there will always be a tear for my man.
Take care
Pat

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