“Grief That Doesn’t Come One at a Time”

General chat
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“I’ve experienced grief in layers rather than just once. I lost my nan and grandad suddenly in a car accident, then my brother to suicide, and later my mum to cancer. It feels like each loss has had its own shape, but they all overlap in ways I’m still trying to understand.”

sudden loss, suicide, and illness each brought different emotions — shock, confusion, anger, guilt, helplessness — and how they don’t cancel each other out, they stack

“Sometimes I don’t know which loss I’m grieving in a moment — it all blends together.”

“I think what I’m learning is that grief doesn’t replace itself — it layers. And I’m here because I’m trying to find a way to carry it, not be crushed by

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Hi @saraalex,

I’m sure someone will be along to share their thoughts, but I just wanted to say thank you for so bravely sharing this with us. Keep reaching out,

Naoise

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Hi Saraalex, I’m sorry about your tragic bereavements. It’s quite normal as you get older to lose grandparents and then parents etc but to lose them suddenly and in that way must be very difficult to handle. I’ve lost a lot of family but when my wife died this Christmas my life as I had known it died as well. The person I was has gone and now I will have to discover who I am. What I have taken from this suffering is that I was blessed to have loved and been loved. I feel an obligation after receiving so much love to share some of it to others.
Wishing you all the best
Tom :people_hugging::people_hugging::people_hugging::people_hugging:

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Hello Saraalex, I know what you mean. Our close family unit was my Dad, Mum, sister, brother-in-law. I then met my partner. I lost family; dad when I was 20, uncles and aunts. Then a gap and my brother-in-law and my uncle and Mum recently within 3 months of each other. Gradually close family members have died. I now have my partner, sister and her 2nd husband. My Mum and I were so close. I always dreaded the time that I would lose her. I could get through the rest as we were each others emotional support. I try to keep going, but when I reflect (which I try not to do) my life surrounded by those who made me happy and who I loved has gone. I am trying to accept this but to carry the love with me.

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That is a lot in a very short time, I don’t have an answer but instead of seeing it as layers stacking, give each a day of your own remberance or time. If that makes sense. So much sadness and grief, each individual different.

I’m really sorry you’ve had to go through such a lot with, how it sounds, not a lot of time to actually take in and grieve. My thoughts are with you and here if you need a chat.

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Hi jojojabini, I’m sorry to hear that you are still suffering from your father’s death. My wife had a lot of issues when her mum died as she was so close. It’s good to talk about how you are feeling and dealing with your bereavement and I have found this site to a great help to me. I have found it to be beneficial to concentrate on how lucky I have been. To have been loved is such a beautiful thing and I have been more than most. I think it also helps to think what your loved one would want for you now. I’m sure your father would want only the best for his lovely daughter. So I think we have to make our loved ones proud.
Wishing you all the best
Tom :people_hugging::people_hugging:

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Thanks so much for your reply