Grieving a loved one.
You talk about them in the present tense because in your heart they still exist.
You say goodnight to their photo like they can still hear you.
You look for signs, feathers, numbers, signs from them.
You scroll past their name in your contacts and wish you could phone them.
You dream of them, and waking up feels like you’re losing them all over again.
You catch yourself thinking I should tell them this, then realty hits hard.
You would give anything for one more conversation, one more hug, one more “I love you.”
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I agree with you, its been 12 weeks since I lost my beloved husband, i feel like I’m not living but existing, i miss him everyday and struggling without him, the tears haven’t stopped since and the pain in my heart is unbearable.
Everyday I feel like giving up so I can be with him.
The days and nights are long and lonely and the house is empty and quiet now. I keep asking why did he leave me alone, i would give anything to hear him say hey baby do you need a hug, and hey baby i love you.
I miss hearing is voice, his smell the way he made me laugh.
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@Poppet1973 aww that is exactly the same im feeling it is so difficult i do get it feel for you those little comments we miss and sounds smells just a touch its so hard to do anything now we even finished each other sentences and said the same words at exactly the same time too that was us all over they really didn’t want to leave us alone of that I’m sure they would have wanted this future we had planned i know my linda fought for all her worth to stay but no matter what we have no say in the outcome that hurts a lot we miss them so much thats the price of loving them so much i guess they are part of us always just led here looking at her stuff in the bedroom as if she was only in the bathroom and about to walk in this door and decide what to wear today the maxi dress hanging on the back of the door or just her sloppy clothes and have a chill day it is hard i know sorry your struggling sweetheart sending a hug to you try be strong if you can i know its difficult
Martin 
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Yesterday I went for breakfast with my friend and I managed to get through it without breaking down until I got home, where I couldn’t stop crying for a long time.
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@Poppet1973 well done for getting to that point at least i know i couldnt have and you had to then release those emotions when you were in your safe place that was a massive step forward poppet it is so difficult to control how your feeling it just comes at you so fast grieving takes over everything and is totally draining i still struggle just getting in the car alone let alone going out either linda or i would take the driving in turns but it just hurts so bad she not sat next to me as id put my hand on her leg and feel her there now the seat is empty im dreading going to her daughters wedding in march as im now giving her away linda was going to give her daughter away and the 300 mile drive each way is going to be a nightmare i have got to get her elderly mum sorted and as she lives with us and taking her to as she not well herself i hope you take care of you hugs for being brave
Martin
I don’t go out but my grief counsellor said that I should take it one day at a time. I normally do stay home and go out if I have to.
Good luck for next month xx
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