Grief

Coping with bereavement
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How many deaths can one person take in such a small space of time without giving up

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So sorry you are going through this .one passing is one to many . I lost my wife in feb . I took a trip to my gp and contacted cruise for support is that a idea for you this is only a thought ken oxford

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HI @Brokenheart36.

I lost my wife last October so I’m 6 months into my grief journey. I’m struggling to cope with the loss of one person so I can’t imagine what it’s like for you losing multiple loved ones.

You could try watching some of the David Kessler videos on YouTube. He’s a fantastic grief counsellor. His videos have helped me.

If you’re having trouble sleeping you could try listening to the Paul McKenna sleep hypnosis audio on YouTube. That works for me although you have to use it every night for at least a week to get the full benefit.

Here are 12 suggestions by Counsellor Carl Benedict which might be of some help:

  1. Be patient with yourself. Grief is disorienting and exhausting. So, keep your expectations of yourself realistic.
  2. Be gentle with yourself. You have been deeply wounded, and you will need a compassionate, inner voice to help you work through the trauma of major loss.
  3. Keep your life as simple as possible. You will be exhausted and in no frame of mind to make decisions, so don’t if you don’t have to. Give yourself time to find your equilibrium and rebuild your strength.
  4. Allow yourself time and space to grieve. In other words, don’t pretend you haven’t been wounded; instead, find ways to work through the feelings and thoughts triggered by the loss.
  5. Develop rituals to facilitate the grieving process; read about grief, attend a grief support group; keep a grief journal; talk with others who have experienced similar losses; or see a grief counsellor.
  6. But also give yourself permission to set grieving aside for a while. In other words, don’t obsess on the loss for any longer than necessary. It’s okay to work, laugh, relax and have fun when you can. You’ll definitely need breaks from grieving to recharge your batteries for the difficult work ahead.
  7. Seek support from safe people who do not judge you or tell you how to grieve. In fact, you might find support from unexpected acquaintances who quietly emerge from the shadows and know how to listen, most likely because they’ve suffered a similar loss.
  8. Most importantly, accept that your life is going to feel crazy or unreal for a while. You can’t wish the pain away or just snap out of it. There are no shortcuts to grieving. You must gradually work through the pain.
  9. Have faith that grieving leads to healing. Faith matters because major loss can leave you feeling hopeless. Speaking with a grief counsellor or others who have experienced a similar loss can offer hope. Educating yourself about grief can help you trust the process of grieving, when hopes seems difficult to find.
  10. Have faith that grieving leads to personal growth. The bittersweet truth is that achieving acceptance will make you a wiser person.
  11. Try to find meaning in your suffering? As you’re grieving progresses, try to invest your pain in some meaningful activities, big or small, that honour your loved one, which can transform your suffering into sacred love.
  12. Self-care is never more important than when grieving a major loss. That’s when you feel lost and don’t know what to do. Ask yourself this question. What do I need to do to take care of myself right now? Do I need to eat something or get some rest? Do I need to talk to someone or take a shower? Whatever you decide you need, do it. Self-care must be your default focus when grieving a major loss. People pleasing will not work.

I hope this is of some help to you.

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The pain magnifies. My Dad died two years ago, my best mate one year ago, my Mum six weeks ago, and my husband of 33 years four weeks ago. The first three I coped with as I had my amazing husband by my side. After his totally unexpected death I am broken. The loneliness is terrifying, and I’m angry and bitter and feel robbed. He was only 54, I’m 58. We had another 20 years of joy ahead of us. My amazing friends are doing all they can but they have no idea of my pain. I found this site a few days ago and it’s really helped.

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So sorry Jamie.

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I’m so sorry, xxx

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So sorry for your loss and your pain Jamie. I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose so many loved ones in such a short time.
Words are so inadequate at a time like this but maybe this meditation by David Kessler might help you.