Grief

Losing a sibling
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My sister died very quickly from cancer in 2017. She was my absolute rock and I miss her. My grief hits me at times which is why I’m writing this. I feel guilty that I’m still grieving at one level and it takes time for me to catch this and be kind to myself that it’s ok to feel heartbroken at times. I don’t push the grief away, I cry.
Cathryn’s death changed all our lives and robbed us of our future. We had to create a new future which still has holes in it.
The grief comes in waves, thankfully less often, in fact I can enjoy life too which seems a miracle.
Just felt I want to share this with people who share this pain.

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Hi Sara, what you say is so true, people who haven’t been through a bereavement think that after a few months you should be back to normal, and what you have found like all of us that grief does not miraculously go away, you learn to live with it and your life goes on but in a different way, good days and bad days, sending love Jude xx

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Thank you Jude, it is so supportive to know what I’m feeling is normal.

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Hi Sara3, Your post caught my attention. I also lost my precious younger Sister to cancer in 2018. She was doing well and we were given hope that it was treatable. Then one tragic night, 2 days before her birthday, she went into the hospital supposedly for fluids but died within 10 hours of arriving. I was by her side and stood by helplessly as she coded. It is a night that will haunt me the rest of my life. We were more than sisters, we were life long best friends, soul mates, and confidants. I still have her birthday card and gifts. Never feel guilty for your grief and heartbreak. Losing a sibling is losing a part of yourself. I have not been the same person without her. We shared so much, and had so many plans, all cruelly shattered now. I too often wonder how I made it thus far. But even a broken heart can go on beating. Take care. Xxxx Another Sad Sister :broken_heart:

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Thank you sister2 and so sorry that you also have lost your beautiful sister. Your words describe my loss.

Thank you for sharing, it helped me a lot and I hope we all find a way through this journey none of us want to be on xxx

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Thank you Sara3. This is so hard. Here if you need to share. Xxx

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Thank you and you too xxx

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So sorry for your loss, my younger sister too died of cancer, she was wrongly diagnosed then ignored the numerous of times she went to the dr to say how ill she was, in the end she bled to death internally, it was only 4 months ago, I’m beginning to see there’s not as much understanding when it’s a sibling that has been taken compared to partners or parents or children, I can see why this but it doesn’t change the fact that we grew up with our siblings our entire lives, we were meant to grow old together, be there for each others children, she wasn’t able to have as it was the womb that caused the problems, but she was like a 2nd mum to my kids, she was such a kind gentle sole and very stubborn at the same time, its my oldest 21st this week and it breaks my heart she’s not here to see this, she was always the first wish any family member happy birthday or to remind the rest of us when a birthday was coming up, my brain is in bits not wanting to believe she has gone, I thought I knew grief when my best friend died or when my aunt died but this is awful, my heart breaks for her husband who is alone but he has us lot, and then my parents, my mum doesn’t even have her sister to turn to as she died a few years back, my dad who is sad is also dying, he’s been given a couple of months but has gone past that and we are now at 6 months. Has anyone else’s empathy amplified as well as their own grief, its all getting to much to be honest, there’s just sadness everywhere

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Dear Lean.Mil, I am so sorry for the tragic death of your beloved sister. I agree that the loss of a sibling, especially an adult sibling, is often minimised. My precious Sister was my partner through life, my best friend, the person I could laugh and cry with. We also believed we would grow old together. We have a history with our siblings, and now our present & future has been cruelly taken from us. I only have one other sibling who was unkind to us throughout our lives. My little Sister was so gentle & caring to everyone (like yours) and never deserved to be mistreated. Those memories gnaw at me. But I tried to make up for it, and did what I could to protect her. But I could not shield her from the dreaded cancer. I am so sorry you are facing another loss of your Dad. I lost my Mum 6 years before my Sister died. Each loss is compounded by the one before. You are dealing with so much illness and loss. You are spot on, it is “too much,” and there is sadness everywhere. Take care and post anytime, here we can find some refuge from the pain. Xxxx Another Sad Sister :broken_heart:

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