Grief

Losing a partner
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I am nearly 3 weeks a widow. How does this work?

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Hello Vancouver
Welcome and I’m very sorry for your loss, which is so recent. My partner died 8 months ago in ITU. This site has helped me know that so many other people are experiencing similar feelings to me- I know that I can say things on here that other people understand, and that I don’t have to explain myself.
With love to you
Sophie x

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Thank you, Sophie and I am so sorry you lost your partner, too. My husband died in a hospice after 5 month hospital stay. I am digging into grief books, currently Joan Didion, which is helping. I don’t know how I feel - it is all one big void. I hope that this forum will help me crawl out of the wreckage and wobble to my feet again. Thank you again for being a friend on here. With love, V

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Hello Vancouver,

So sorry for your very recent loss. It’s a hard new life to navigate and can only be done slowly and depends on how you feel day to day.

It’s almost a year since I lost my darling husband and some days all I could manage was to get out of bed and perhaps wash my face and brush my teeth…other days I met a friend or relative and had a walk and talk.

You must look after yourself and handle your profound grief in YOUR way…after 3 weeks you may not now what that way is yet.

We all understand on this site. Keep reading and writing. It really will help you

Janey x

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Thank you, Janey, I am so very sorry that you lost your husband. I recognise your reaction- waking up to face another day is the worst time, I think. I am alone, no children, but loads of loving family and friends. But, the one I want so much, is gone. Funeral this week. I wobble on. Thank you again for sharing your advice.

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Much love for the funeral. I totally understand “wobble on” . I’m like you, no children but so lucky with loving family and friends

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Hi Vancouver and Janey,
I’m in the same situation as you both in terms of having no children. I’ve truly found out who my friends are over the last few months, and they as well as my siblings are the most precious things to me now.
Lots of love, Sophie :heart:

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Hi I am also the same. No children but a loving brother and sister. I don’t know what I would do without them. Life seems so lonely at times. All I want is my husband back and life how it used to be but that isn’t going to happen. We all wobble on as best we can. Much love x

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Hello again,

Thank you all for responding- it really helps to know that while I am alone in my little boat on this ocean of grief, there are other little boats out here too, finding their way, like me. I too just want my husband to return, for this all to have been one big mistake. I have siblings and many friends who are helping as I inch along. We should stick together and thank you for being here for me. I am awake again at 03:30. I am certainly not the only one. x

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Dear Vancouver. Your loss is so recent and I’m so sorry but you are far from alone. My partner of 28 years passed away from cancer 4 months ago to the day next Friday the 18th. My birthday. I remember when my loss was three weeks and now its 4 months. Don’t know where the time goes. This site has been a source of comfort to me and sometimes some really good advice so keep reading and posting. Theres so many of us in the same boat. Best wishes to you.

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I will be thinking of you that day. This is hard, but if we stick together here, I think things might be that tiny bit better. Thank you for being in touch with me.

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It’s my birthday on the 19.2.22. It will be my first birthday without my husband. X

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Under different circumstances Nel I’d wish you a happy birthday but I’m sure it will be far from that just as mine won’t be ,particularly as its the 4 month anniversary of her passing. Instead I’ll just wish you a peaceful one and hope that its not too tough a day for you.

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This is hard, Nel. I went through my husband’s birthday 2 weeks after he died. I just kept talking to him and wished him happy birthday. His funeral is today. I am not ready.

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I will be thinking about you at the funeral. It was a blur the funeral day for me. I remember no make up hair tied up and black dress. I was in a daze for most of it. I came home and cried. X

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We have, of course, driving rain and wind. He comes to the house at 2:45. Am as ready as I will ever be, which is not at all. Here we go.

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