Hi, Lost my wife suddenly 4 months ago and have been reading a lot about Grief, both from peoples advice on here, and from counsellors advice, and I understand how it can come over you in waves with or without notice, but since I have woken up this morning I didn’t realise how fierce this can hit you, I didn’t want to get out of bed, finally when I did I cant stop crying and the pain is the worse I have experienced, I just don’t want to do anything but sit here and think about my beautiful wife ,I have tried speaking to her, I have kissed and kissed her photo and I keep telling her how much I love her but nothing seems to ease the pain, I went to see a Medium last week which she told me some wonderful things about my wife which left me on a high for a couple of days so I am wondering if that as worn off now and its having the opposite effect. Take care everyone Mickere x
Dear Mickere,
I do feel for you and this awful grief that you are going through with the loss of your beloved wife, it’s exhausting to say the least, I have had those same feelings where I just didn’t know what to do with myself literally…so I usually ended up going out in the car as I had to concentrate on the driving and I still do this when I can’t stand being in the house.
I am further on time wise than you since the loss of my wonderful husband Pete and although the feelings are still with they are not quite so raw if that’s the right word.
I find having to talk myself through what I’m going to do each day helps as once I start to do a job I feel as though I have achieved something…even if it’s just doing some gardening or changing the bed.
Stay strong and keep going.
Thoughts with you and everyone having a bad day.
Love Jenny
Hi Mickere
I’m so sorry that your feeling of grief is so overwhelming today. It is such early days for you and I remember being so surprised at myself when I found myself screaming about the unfairness of life.
It will be 48 weeks tomorrow that Ian passed away and yet it still seems like yesterday. I don’t cry as much but there is always an overwhelming feeling of sadness enveloping me still.
I still just take each day as it comes and I suggest you do the same. I find solace in driving and often just drive off and sit in the car for hours.
I knew I needed counselling when I picked up the post hoping it was informing me that Ian was coming home. He had passed away about 4 months before, about the same time as you are now.
I still hope it’s all just a nightmare but sadly, I’m slowly realising it is not.
Be kind to yourself,
X Julie
Like everyone here, it’s trying to accept what’s happened.
I’ve had most of the “firsts” but it’s still difficult.
In my head I know hubby isn’t coming back but I still look out the window expecting him to walk up the street.
I miss silly things like the routine we fell into after retirement.
I’d tell people we had become darby & Joan.
G. X
For me, mornings and late evening are the worst. I cannot shake this feeling of doom. I fake it for work, then isolate. Just came back from a cruise to Bermuda. I cried all 7 days…at the spa, at the casino, and especially watching couples dancing. It’s been 9 months and I just feel so alone. No one wants to hear how I feel and my body is breaking down. I’m only 54. You are not by yourself…xoxo
Hi, so sorry for your loss. I’m the same age as you, my soulmate was only 57 when he was torn away from me by a sudden cardiac arrest.
Can’t come to terms with this, I’m absolutely devastated, I miss him so much I feel I’m going crazy. I understand what you’re going through, I find some comfort sharing our thoughts here, I’m sure you will too.
My love was my cougar experience. He died in a car accident at the tender age of 40! Our age difference seemed non existent. We just enjoyed being together. I was so focused on my career goals, I didn’t even think about love, until I met him. So now…this void. I’m angry and grateful at the same time. Feeling absolutely bonkers most times.
It will be 18 months on 23rd May since I last saw, talked to, kissed and cuddled the love of my life. I am truly amazed that I am still surviving without my wonderful husband Neil. I have had amazing support and have become a bit of workaholic which has been my saving grace. I saw a medium last month and was blown away with the detailed reading she gave me. I was on a high for a couple of days believing that there was finally proof that Neil is around me, but then immense sadness hit me that he is not in this world with me. Life is so bitter sweet at every turn now. I hold firmly onto all my beautiful memories we made in the short time we had and will be forever grateful that I was his last love and that he was the happiest he had ever been. I live with the hope and dream of seeing him again.
Sending love and strength to you all.
Thanks for sharing that. I have been afraid to go out of fear of exploitation. You gave me the confirmation. I think I will reach out today. The sadness has been consistent, it’s time for me to truly feel the connection I ache for. He continues to give messages but I can feel the limitations he has as well. If that makes any sense… thanks again and know that you are doing this the best way you can.
Dear 4everVs
I have learned since my Neil passed to deal with my grief as I see fit and as I feel ready for each stage. I have been lucky with the support I have had although I do wonder whether people still realise that the pain and sadness is always with me in some form even if I am smiling a bit more now. I certainly felt comfort from the reading I received and as we know life is too short not to seek that.
Be brave but only do what you can in your own time x