Hi, I’m not sure what I’m looking for. I met a guy and we became close. He told friends he liked me, and even said it to me. However I freaked out, I was sexually assaulted when I was young and hid it from everyone.
If guys got close I would run away. I started therapy and we had been talking more. I felt for the first time in a long time I could actually see myself with the guy and happy. I wanted to tell him, however he died before I could. I don’t know how to handle it. I didn’t know him long but in some ways I felt I did. Life just seems very unfair.
I’m not sure what I want, I’m angry he left (although know he was physically unwell it was very sudden his passing). I keep looking for signs he still here, but scared I didn’t mean anything.
Thank you, it’s just hard as in a way I started therapy cause I didn’t want it to miss out on such a great guy. He was warm, and funny, made me feel seen and safe (when most of the time I’m just used to being invisible).
I keep hoping I’ll sense him or dream of him. However my iPhone got stuck on a song ‘say you’ll haunt me’, which is an odd co-incidence but I hope it was him.
My husband of 25 years, 32 years together, died in December . I expected to have dreams about him - but not had any.
Maybe I’m just not ready yet.
My son and I talk about him all the time and he is in my thoughts every day.