Its now nine months since I lost my darling husband. But my grief just seems to get worse. People see the outer me, but inside im just shattered in pieces.


5 and a half months for me. I haven’t been here for a while. I managed to distract myself with stuff and occasionally felt a bit guilty that I was rarely thinking about him and what happened. Some sort of defence mechanism I think. I even stopped crying daily. I felt back in control of my life. It hasn’t lasted. The last 3 weeks I have been very depressed. I can’t/don’t do anything except sit in a chair staring at the garden. I’m still pretending to my (older) children that I’m alright. They have their own problems and don’t live nearby. They can’t help me. I am existing, not living. I feel like I’m just waiting and hoping for death. This is just too hard.


@AngelinaH @Alyson.r hi. I am 12 weeks in. Angelina, apart from the children comment, you have described my “life” perfectly. I am a dead shell that because the law of the land does allow assisted suicide I have to “carry” on. I am, like you just waiting for death.


I havent been on here either for a while, but i so need it to know im not going mad