Hi I only lost my beloved husband 4 weeks ago. I feel that part of me is missing, I cared for him 24/7 for approximately 12 months and I don’t know what to do with myself.
I have been encouraged by my family to go on the holiday we had booked at a regular place we have been to for year’s and where we made many friends who will be there at the same time.
I’m not sure how I will cope but I need to be strong because that is what my lovely husband would have wanted.
His death was sudden at the end and I truly believed that he was coming home from hospital. Grief and guilt are words I use grief because I couldn’t save him,guilt because sometimes I said things that I shouldn’t have.
I know he knew that I loved him at the end and this was resipricated in his word’s. But it doesn’t make it any easier.
I have read some of your comments and I hope wilth your help and support we can all help each other.


I am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband of 50 years just over 10 weeks ago. It too was sudden. Within 2 weeks of being diagnosed he was in hospital and dead. We all feel guilt over what we may have said but know that our partners knew we lived them. At this stage you will be overwhelmed and I would be amazed if you don’t cry every day. Even at my early stage I don’t cry every day. You will find ways to manage. I hope you have lots of support. Take all the help you are offered and just go with how you feel. You will find we all grieve differently and find ways to go on somehow. Beware the brain fog. Make lists and cross check everything you do. Time will distort. It feels like yesterday and yet forever since my darling Norman was sat in the chair beside me. All I can do is adapt to the new reality. My thoughts are with you. Hugs xx. Sandra

Hi @Solo1 and sadly welcome to the site. So sorry to hear of the passing of your husband, 4 weeks is very early and things must feel incredibly raw and confusing att he moment. They were for me 9 months ago when my wife passed away. I found it hard to know what to do as all of my days had been focused on caring for my wife and then nothing. It was a very hard road to come to terms with having to reconstruct myself in the midst of losing her. I took small steps at first, I tried to focus on my needs, it wasn’t easy as I didn’t know what I wanted. I decided to say yes to everything but promised myself that if I didn’t want to I didn’t have to. People will try and help but they have little understanding of where you are at, unless they have been through it too. I found this site at the start and spent a lot of time reading about the experiences of others, it helped a lot to give me the perspective I needed. Now I find myself on here most days at the moment, chatting, reading, posting. It helps to get it out and realise that you are far from alone in this. People on here truly understand, they will try and help as best they can, it’s a hard road to navigate, no map, no rules, hopefully this place will help you find a way, it did for me

Grief will tell you lies, guilt too, they make you think that you should have said or done something, what has happened has happened and is in the past and cannot be changed.
Get a writing pad and write down important things you need to do, do not trust your memory, I’m 6 months into this and the brain fog is terrible.
Best wishes.

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Hi Solo, It’s 11 weeks since my lovely partner Christine passed after being diagnosed with a brain tumour and lasted 8 weeks sadly, I’ve told my story on here and get great solace from the members on here, it’s my answer to seeing a counsellor.
I felt guilt for actually doing things which made me happy in case people judged me, has for going out, I am a cricket coach, play bowls, I have a season ticket at Burnley. I have a casual part time job at a day centre for dementia where I should have been working with Christine.
When I returned to my activities which wasn’t easy I was received with lots of care and compassion and everyone looks out for me, I miss Christine so much it hurts, but she was the type of person who would not want me giving these activities up and wouldn’t want me moping about. Like I’ve said previously the thing that also hurts is Christine not being around to talk too when I return home. I come in and everything just goes flat :cry: l hope by talking on here it helps has much as it helps me X

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I’m sorry for your loss. Your story sounds so similar to mine. My wife passed away 3 weeks ago today. I was her full time carer through a long illness. we were completely inseparable and now she’s gone. Im sorry I don’t have any advice because this is all new to me too, I just wanted to reach out because I know how you’re feeling. Sending love :heart:


Keep posting and talking on here it gives me a strength and I may have something that will help others and vice Versa :blush: so sorry for your loss :broken_heart:

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