i lost my mum 23 years ago it hit me hard, she was only 62, i am 68 she used to say her & myself would collect our pensions together lol, a few years later i lost my brother who also took it hard on mums death, a few years after that i lost my grandson 10 month old this also devastated me, then years after again i lost my other brother who was a twin to my other brother 5 month after that i lost my dad , then 3 years ago i lost my wife who was only 50 but i can’t grieve…why?
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You are grieving , this is why you are thinking about it.Because you are not crying it does not men you don’t care.take care of yourself
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What you described is grieving Missing people feeling devastated are all symptoms of grief Be kind to yourself you have experienced a lot of loss in your life: We are all different there is no prescribed behaviour expected Don’t compare yourself with others— be you.If you feel you are really struggling and stuck get some professional help from counselling or therapy that may help