Grief

Losing a partner
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I lost my husband 10 days ago. He was only diagnosed 4 weeks prior so its been a whirlwind. He was my life. I miss him so much and am struggling every day. It hurts so much. We were happy for so long and i actually dont know how i will cope without him . Even though i have people around i feel so lonely and just want him back

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Hello @MrsSutty,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,
Seaneen

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I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m 11 weeks in and I completely understand your feelings. I also worry I won’t be able to cope, but thanks to family members and people on here, I believe it will get better. Everything must be a blur for you just now.

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We all feel the same. 8 weeks for me and I think it is only just becoming real. No advice for you as everyone is different but this is a good place to vent your feelings ask questions or just have someone to message and say hello. No one is alone on this forum, there is always some to listen. Xx

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@MrsSutty we know exactly how you’re feeling because we feel the same.

It’s 8 weeks today since Roger died and I relive every second. Did I do enough, did he hear me telling him I loved him. I hope so, but I’ll never know for sure.

Oh God, here I go again, sobbing.

Keep talking to us, and take care.

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I am so sorry for your loss and I share your pain. Losing your beloved is heartbreaking and the pain is indescribable.
Six months in and I am still hurting so much, missing him so terribly.
Everyone copes differently but I can say, for me, take one day at a time does help!
So please do take care X

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Thank you. You are spot on. I keep thinking I could have done more. It all happened so quickly and can’t believe that 3 months ago everything was fine.

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I was very sorry to hear about what happened and I hope you find it helps to share how you are feeling knowing that everyone here has also lost a loved one too. I am remembering the time last year at the moment when I was in the same boat. The whirlwind you talk about is just how it felt. Like a huge storm suddenly changed everything. No wonder you feel like you do. Suddenly everything has changed.

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It’s certainly helps to share what we feel and realise that we are not alone in this.
Our world crumbled the day we lost our beloved - nothing will ever be the same again without our other half :broken_heart:
I am now taking one day at a time hoping & praying that one day I will be able to carry on with just the beautiful memories MINUS this horrible pain and loneliness.
Take care everyone X

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Yes it does gradually recede how big a portion of your mind it takes up as time goes by. But not a smooth progression. Today I was alone again which is tough. I went to get a newspaper and a magazine to get out of the house. Horrid drizzly damp etc. Better than not going. At least have a bit of contact. Watched the Songs of Praise choir competition on tv which was nice. Got myself an easy dinner of a jacket potato and prawns. Was ok. I treated myself to a tiny shot of Baileys in a cup of coffee with a tiny bit of cocoa and bit of dark chocolate. Dont know what looking after yourself means apart from trying to eat something healthy, moving about and keep doing things like the washing up etc. Taking my tablets, keeping the cat fed, the plants watered etc. I could have done all sorts of things but no real feeling I wanted to do so. But I did write a story which is what I used to do so that is something. Didnt need to but why not? I used to go to creative writing but left when it got too awkward but keep in touch with a few of the people who do still go.

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Loneliness is so hard to overcome and I too try to keep busy but it’s harder at weekends - too much time and not enough to do! I spend most of my time in the kitchen preparing meals and freezing them so that I don’t have to cook when getting home from work. Cooking can be so therapeutic so I now have enough frozen meals that will feed me for weeks. I used to have things to do in my spare time but don’t have the energy to carry on- somehow I just lost all that joy and motivation since I lost my angel :broken_heart:.
As soon as I stop being busy I am again consumed by sadness and loneliness, everyday is the same story. I sometimes feel physically exhausted running around trying to keep busy just to avoid being sad and lonely but don’t want to stop because I am scared of feeling lonely! Isn’t that horrible that you either are physically tired but mentally sort of okay or physically okay but emotionally wrecked - what’s worse!

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I am 10 weeks today and I am reliving that horrible night continuously. He was taken from me while on holiday . Frightening, confusing, unreal. Every emotion I can think of. I am struggling and still doesn’t feel like this is happening to me.
I am still not back at work, I just feel panic when I think of it. I am dreading Christmas and don’t want to go anywhere but force myself too. Ijust try to keep busy with something else to try to distract my mind.
At the moment I can’t see past this , just keep hoping for things to get a little easier and to stop hurting so much.
Take Care x

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I am so sorry for your loss and I share your pain knowing what it was like at 10 weeks- I was still numb, confused, angry and in denial then. Even now almost 7 months in, I am still struggling some days are harder to cope than others.
Keeping busy is one way to cope- it seems to help and try to take one day at a time can help too.
Please do take care of your wellbeing, mentally and physically as it is important to keep well in order to deal with grief. It will get better someday for everyone
Just have to keep hoping and praying.
Take care X

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@Angel1309 exactly those words.

As soon as I stop being busy I’m consumed by sadness. How well you put it.

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Yes, that’s exactly how it is every single day, over and over :broken_heart:

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