Grief

Coping with bereavement
1

Hi it’s my first time posting .
I’m just a bit lost & low.

I lost my mum Nov 28 th 2023 I returned to work straight away .

The 5 th week back at work I was knocked down with pleurisy I must of picked something off the kids at school.

I hit an all time low went into hospital & I was having flash backs of mum .

Anxiety off the scale panicking going to get wrong off work .

The week before I was ill we had a meeting the Head said she is F xxxx sick of the sick bill & just want people to just do there job.

The Friday before I went on sick leave the receptionist gave me a form off the head saying I was going to be docked 8 hours off my pay because I didn’t follow the correct protocols.

My mam was in her last days of her life , I left a message on the mon on the answering machine 5 am morning & message the head saying my mam has took a turn for the worse.

I was told mam only had hours left so I didn’t want to be on my mobile I wanted to lie & hold her till her last breath & that’s what I did.

So u can imagine I have pleurisy I can’t breath did I go to work to early when I was grieving.

I hit an all time low I’m on the mend with pleurisy but slowly recovering with bereavement.

Anyway I got a 4 week sick note I sent it to my head , she said I will be referred to HR .
So u can imagine my anxiety is off the roof it’s coming up to a telephone appointment this week , then I have my bereavement counselling in the afternoon.

Did I return to soon I thought going to work would help but there was no protocols put in place helping me return to work after my mum , i am going to hand my notice in , & I can’t deal with the stress it is stressful my job the kids have physical / mentally / behavioural problems & I really just not ready to go back but then I get grief off the head for being off .

Im really trying but grief doesn’t go away in my life my dad passed before my 21 st birthday with cancer my mam got took into care on my birthday , it’s Mother’s Day soon then her birthday I’m struggling :pray:t3:

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I’m sorry for your loss. Please accept my condolences.
You need to do what is best for you. Grief is horrible. The amount of emotions it brings to the fore in one go, is unbelievable.
Your health is important. Tell HR how you’re feeling. Tell them you’re having bereavement counselling.
Baby steps. Grief effects us all differently. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. There is no timetable to how long or short you should grieve. I think it depends on what type of person you are. What sort of relationship you had with the person that has passed. So many factors.
Just be kind to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling how you’re feeling.
Keep coming on here and talking to people

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Thank u for your lovely & kind response.
I’m so glad I have found this lovely community :pray:t3::heart:

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Just give yourself time. Don’t beat yourself up about anything. Work your way through your grief and in honour of your mum, and for your own sake, work on becoming the best version of yourself you can be.

It can be a long hard journey. It can be a short hard journey. Which ever one it is, just remember to be kind to yourself.

Sending hugs :hugs:

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Thank u :pray:t3:

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Bless you. Your work situation sounds awful. A referral to HR should be a positive action… I was supposed to have been referred, but my line manager forgot to send in the referral, and I’m back now on phased return. But everyone on here told me that it’s a positive thing because you can tell them what it is that you need from your employer to support you back to work. I hope that that is your experience :yellow_heart:.

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