Mine is 1.15pm Friday. Last week I was in bits recalling every moment of the last half an hour, holding his hand and telling him how much I love him while he slipped away.
And even though I was there I still have trouble believing it happened, and that they’ve made a mistake and he’ll come home.
I collected his ashes yesterday so I suppose he has come home.
Oh how I wish I could stop this incessant crying. He wouldnt have wanted that. 9 1/2 weeks and it just goes on and on.
Big hugs for 10.45. I will be thinking of you
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Rose garden
Thanks for your message ,I’m just getting used to replying to messages and not sure which symbols to press so if you don’t get a reply at any time I I am trying to send one
Thinking of you
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Hi @Bowdidly1
Yes it took me a while to work it out. But it doesnt matter. We’re all here for each other anyway.
Take care
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You pressed the right symbol!
Thank you for your message.
You are in my thoughts too x
Thanks very much to everyone who responded to my post , I’m hopeful that by discussing our grief together it will eventually get easier
Thinking of you all
Bowdidly1
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I still have his shoes by the door his dressing gown hung up besides mine his glasses on the coffee table and the book he was reading it’s 12 months now but I think they will always be there.
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When his shoes were returned, I put them where he would leave them (in the way).
I now realise it really wasn’t important that they were in the way.
I really wish he was here to wear them and then leave them there.
It really is DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU, WHAT YOU NEED TO CARRY ON.
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That’s so true,I don’t care what anyone thinks I just do what I know works for me,and yes his shoes are in the way but they always will be.
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Sounds like they were similar men xx
Bowdidly I agree with you both
My wife’s coats and scarves are getting in the way a bit but I am not ready to move them , I don’t know if I ever will be strong text
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Hi bowdidly theres no rush to move the coats and scalfs i lost my kev age 67 july 31st 2023 he to hand cancer but very aggressive on lived for 7 weeks after it was found i nursed him at home and he went peaceful in his sleep at 5.10am grief is torture its just never ending paìn but the last week i feel a little better i live in the ribble valley lancs and its not stopped raining for 6 months but now this week we have had some sunshine which gets me out the house and in the garden and is a lift…i cant give u any advice at on on the grieving proccess but the more we loved the harder the pain is so take it one day at a time its still so very early for you…keep posting as it does help knowing some many off use arre in the same situation…take care
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Hello Sunset23
My wife was diagnosed with stage4 terminal lung cancer in March 2022 she had 3 doses of chemo which nearly killed her followed by immunotherapy which stopped working after 5 doses , Then she had 13 Radio therapy doses, She didn’t give in to the cancer but the last 3 months was really bad , I was caring for her at home with hospice at home treatment . She was admitted to Pendleside Hospice in December 23. They sent her home for Christmas then had to re-admit her late January 24 where she died Feb1st , She was struggling for breath in bed and I was holding her hand and stroking her forehead when she eventually passed away , It’s was a awful experience seeing my wife suffering like that , J can’t get it out of my mind
So very sorry.
That was traumatic for both of you, so you will have these thoughts.
I hope time and sharing how you feel will help.
My husband died suddenly, it was totally unexpected and very, very quick, instantly I believe. I then watched as people tried to revive him for quite a while.
For weeks afterwards, I felt the need to tell everyone about it.
I think was my way of trying to understand what had happened,
Please continue to share.
Take care x
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Yes @RoseGarden I agree, talking about it to anyone that will listen certainly helps.
As I’ve found the grief journey is full of ups and downs, more downs than ups at the moment, but I do hope the ups will eventually overtake the downs.
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Rose garden
Thanks for your reply, It’s the seeing the person you love suffering so much at home and the people who should be helping her letting her down . District Nurse should have been seeing her twice weekly and never came , Hospice at Home Nurse didn’t visit her as often as she should ,My experience of caring at home was a disaster, I wouldn’t like to see this happening again
Thank You
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I am so very, very sorry.
That must have been so frustrating and devastating to witness.
We want our loved ones to be looked after and their pain eliminated as much as possible.
Thinking of you x
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Rose garden
Thaks very much for your support
It’s much appreciated
We’ll have to try to keep our spirits up x
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Hi I’m so sorry that you experienced a lack of caring whilst your wife was at home. I can understand as I /we looked after my husband at home until his death without the help he should have had. I still see him in the hospital bed we had at home. How such a big strong man became a shell of himself and it breaks my heart. I miss him so much.x
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Loobyloo 2
Thanks for your message , When my wife was at home the Hospice at Home got her a hospital bed and a Oxygen Concentrator and a nightcarer service which meant that the hospital bed was in the front room and I was in the bedroom, Kath couldn’t get comfortable in bed and had to have a zimmer frame to get to toilet so a carer came at 22-00 until 06-30
So I got some sleep, Carers couldn’t give medication so I had to get out of bed , Also when she was in pain U had to phone a district Nurse to come & give her an injection which became a nightmare, She really suffered and I can’t get those images out of my head , The bungalow we rented is very small and I can still see her struggling and in pain every where I look , The grief at the moment is horrendous
I hope this talking on line will ease it
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That is so so awful so sad that have watched your wife fight so so hard and then to loose her life is so cruel you need lost off rest to try and go through the process off recory i do think those images will fade with time its just a forever journey you have to day it slowly day by day its so raw and so recent…take good care
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