Hello everyone ,I’ve only just joined the group
My wife Kathleen has just passed away February 1 and I’m finding it impossible to accept she’s not coming back . I’ve got her ashes in a large black teardrop shaped urn with a gold heart in the middle, I talk to her picture and have her wedding ring on a chain round my neck . My brain is numb with grief and I can’t stop the tears coming, I’m glad I didn’t go first as I hate think of putting Kath through the horrible pain of grief and loneliness I’m going through, The empty house with all her possessions in is overwhelming but I can’t bring myself to dispose of anything as it too precious to me , I’m having counselling at the hospice where she died but at the moment I’m still totally lost


So sorry for your loss , i lost my husband January this year ,i understand what you are going through ,it,s early days for you same as it is for myself.Grieving for someone you loved is hard,think of all the good memories you shared together if you can.You will get through your pain and grief ,it takes a while.Go easy on yourself.

I’m a few weeks behind you in all this.

It is worse than I could ever have imagined.

I think all of us can identify with how you are feeling.
I certainly can.

I had always hoped I would go first as I thought he would cope better than me.
Then I read someone’s words that they loved their spouse so much that they were relieved that the spouse did not experience what they were going through.
This changed my view so like you I would never want him to have to go through this.

His possessions bring mixed feelings. Sad that he won’t use them again but I have hugged his dressing gown and shirts to feel closer to him.

I have cried so much but sometimes it has helped me and been a sort of release.

So many on here, will say the same. So please believe we understand.

You will also find that people do not judge and will read what you write and want to support you.

Take care x


Thank you for your message


Thank you very much Rose for your reply, What you and I are going through seems to be a common part of the grieving process
I hope joining Sue Ryder will help us both
Stay Safe

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Thank you.

I think it will x

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I’m glad he went first I would never have wanted him to go through what I’m going through every day it’s horrible.


Yes, I agree. As horrible as my life is, I have sometimes felt it is one of my last gifts of love to him.

He wasn’t one to talk about his emotions and I dread to think how much he would have held in his feelings.


I tell his photograph every night I’m glad he’s not left like me .Peter was very sensitive and emotional he always cried at sad films and tv programmes .I just don’t think he would have coped on his own


Thanks very much Lucycat
Your loss is more or less at the same time as mine , It’s still very raw and totally impossible to accept they’re not coming back
Take care

Hello Lyndak
I talk to my wife’s photo every morning and every night, I’ve also got her ashes in a black teardrop urn in the living room , I’ve got her wedding ring on a chain round my neck .I keep kissing it and it makes her seem closer


I too talk to my wife’s photo , have her ashes in an urn next to the bed so she’s with me at night , her rings are in the urn with her as she would never take them off .


So very sorry. There’s no rush to dispose of anything; only you will know when you’re ready. I’m six months down the line and I still have his coat hanging by the door, and his mug and toothbrush in the bathroom; I find it comforting to have his things around me.


I too am fairly new to this. I lost Roger on 23rd February. It just doesnt seem to be getting any easier. Like you I’m glad he went first, he would never have coped, and the thought of him grieving fills me with pain and sadness.
I do go out and I try to fill my days but the pain and loneliness just doesnt go away.

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Hello friends
Looking at your comments it seems like we are experiencing the same things helping to feel that our missing partner is still near us .
I too have my wife’s coats and scarfs hung up behind the door and her turtle necklace she always wore hung up beside her side of the bed


@Bowdidly1 Like you it will be 3 months today. I’m getting wound up already, waiting for 10.45am to come and I will relive that moment when he left, never to return. Such a cruel trick.


For me, it’s Sunday afternoons , they will never be the same.

Thinking of you.

Big hug for now and another for 10.45 a.m. xx

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Sad girlfriend
It’s 17-05 when my wife passed as I was holding her hand and stroking her hair in the hospice bed , It’s like torture seeing her fighting for breath , it’s the first and last time I want to see anyone like that , It’s like a re-occurring nightmare


Thinking of you x

Thanks for your message, My wife passed away 1st February so it’s still very raw for both of us and I’m sure many more people are in the same boat so to speak , God knows when it’s going to easier to accept our loss

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