Hi everyone. I’m new to this group and I’m hoping to get some help. I lost my wife in January this year, we were married for 25 years and have 1 child. He’s 23 and still lives at home with me. I’m struggling so much to accept that I’m not going to see her again, not going to do all the things we planned, she won’t see our son and grandchildren 
growing up.
I’ve managed to go back to work but I’m not focusing on the job as I should do. I can’t make myself go out for a meal with family or friends as I can’t face going on my own.
My wife was only 49 when she passed. I’m so lost and lonely and can’t stop crying every day. It’s 6 months this Thursday.
When is it going to get any easier?
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Hi @AJF74
I’m so sorry you have lost your wife and feel so lost. I’m only 4 months in and it feels like it’s getting harder every day.
My husband was 56 when he died ( I’m 52) and I also really struggle with the loss of our future and all our plans. And that he won’t be there for our kids special events and see any grandchildren that come along.
I’m just trying to take it one day at a time at the moment. Haven’t made it back to work yet as feel I need to be at home for our 16 year old who is struggling.
I miss my old life so much, no idea how to build a new one without him.
I’m hoping too that it will get easier in time - people say it does but we are probably just too early in our journeys to start to feel that way yet.
Sending some strength your way xx
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Hi @AJF74 Sorry for your loss and sadness. The worst thing is the loss of our plans, hopes and dreams.
It will be 6 months on 1st August that I lost my boyfriend. I thought that, as we had found each other we had a future, but it was not to be. I’m at the stage now where I probably look and act OK but I’m numb, and I still cry every day. Loads to get on with, but there doesn’t seem to be a point to anything any more. I’m sorry, I’m probably adding to your misery.
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Hiya I lost my wife 12 weeks ago next Sunday,the anguish is almost unbearable, a word,phrase,glance sets me off again,we were married 55 years,people say it gets easier I don’t see that glimmer yet, the good people on here are really supportive and nice, I wish you peace good wishes Ron.
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Hi AJF74 so sorry you are feeling like this. I’m 12 weeks in and I too cry every day, and can’t see the point in anything. People think I’m ok because I try not to cry in front of them but deep down I’m heartbroken.
All of all our plans, hopes and dreams gone in an instant. I have lost my parents and 2 siblings but this time it feels like I’ve lost my life.
You are not alone on this site and everyone understands. Sending love and strength xx
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Hi @AJF74 I’m sorry for your loss
I’m 20 weeks in. And although I am coping, inside I’m still a wreck.
Its just a case of taking day by day, hour by hour if you need.
You will get there, although I don’t know where there is.
Gradually you will realise that you are starting to cope. It’s not easy but it does happen.
Please keep posting. We all understand, and we’re all here to listen and support you.
Sending, love, hugs and strength
Liz x x
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I’m sorry for your loss. You are right we are in the early stages and don’t think we will ever get over them. It’s learning to live without them that’s the hard part. Sending you strength and love
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Hi. Im sorry for your loss. Yeh i feel your pain as i just tell everybody im fine to save the upset but deep down you know you’re not. Stay strong
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@AJF74 I am so sorry that you have lost your wife. Life is so unfair and cruel and we have been robbed of our future plans and dreams.
I lost my husband 18 months ago suddenly and unexpectedly. He was 53 years old and we had just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary.
I have to say that the second year is harder for me because the first year I was in shock and numb. It is not as raw as the first year but the reality of not seeing my husband again is hard.
My son has just moved out which is hard as would of been my husband and me having our time together. I am keeping busy filling my time and have met up with other sue Ryder people on this journey who have become friends and we have been on a few trips together which is nice being with people who understand. It does get easier in the way that you can function better but every so often you get triggers which causes waves. I find when I have a wave it doesn’t last as long as it used to.
You are still very early days, take one hour at a time and don’t look into the future to much as we can’t control the future like we couldn’t control the past. Keep talking, reaching out and cry and scream when you need too. Grief is better out and in, it’s a constant companion.
Take care and big hugs xx
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