My first post.
Today is 3 months since I suddenly, and unexpectedly lost Paul.
38 yrs together.
I was in work doing some training and suddenly burst into tears.
It has been the worst time of my life.
Even worse than losing borh parents, and suffering depression.
I just needed to say it out loud
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Losing a long term partner, the person we loved, is the worst feeling in the world. 20 weeks of heartbreak and I dont feel it easing. I have never felt this sadness before. I didn’t know this depth of sadness existed. I am sorry for your loss. I have found this forum has helped me. I hope it gives you comfort. Sending hugs and understanding.
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Hi im so sad about your loss but this forum is so good
Im 60 lost my husband after being together 40 years …its all so tragic but its totally different losing a partner …just take one day at a time slow down take a breath and you will survive xx
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@Sasquach
It’s very early days yet for you and how you are feeling and behaving is to be expected. I retired from work before my wife passed to try and spend more time with her. I don’t think I could have gone back to work afterwards so you are doing really well. I would break down on a regular basis for no reason I would just get so overwhelmed. Grief affects us all in a different way. I have lost younger siblings and both parents but to lose a partner is the worst thing. Just take things slowly and look after yourself. There is help out there, don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need to.
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I’m so sorry for your loss, Sasquach and for the pain you are going through. I lost my wife Lillian two months ago after 40 years together. The grief and the loneliness is unbearable. I have had some bad times in my life but nothing has even come close to how bad I am feeling now.
I wish there was something I could say to take the pain away but there isn’t. I try to get out of the house as much as I can. Being with other people helps but I need to be with people who understand the pain and agony of losing a partner. Sadly, I haven’t found any bereavement support groups in my area but this site has been a great comfort to me.
People on here have been amazingly kind and got me through some really dark times. I have no family support and what friends I have no longer visit.
All I can say is keep posting on here and let your feelings out. We are all going through the same nightmare and are here for you whenever you need someone to talk to who understands.
David.
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@Dave4
That’s very true Dave, this site has been so helpful for me. Initially I just read other peoples stories and comments it was so reassuring to know that how I was as feeling very similar to others. Reading comments from people who are going through the same as me was so important to my healing and making sense of things. Talking is so important, if we can’t face to face then this is my go to place…
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So sorry for your loss, I lost Jacqui 9 weeks ago, you will unfortunately find here, there are many stories, of people on the same path.
There is no right or wrong way to feel, it is incredibly hard, The swings in emotions are so painful.
You will find some help here, keep posting and reading, the people here do understand.
Hugs
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I lost my husband unexpectedly 2 months today. We were together 45 years. I also get overwhelmed out of the blue. I think sometimes we just keep too much of a rein on our emotions. I also find tiredness plays a big part which is why I feel particularly sad at nights.
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Thanks for your replies.
I think losing a partner is the worst.
We spend most of our time woth them.
I do want to talk about Paul.
I have friends and family, but not on the same wavelength.
I can only imagine how my own mum felt when she lost my dad.
Sorry for your losses too.
It was the suddeness that broke me.
I have and also dealt with grief apart of my job, this is something else.
Do you feel when you go out and see stupid things happening, that you want to shout or scream at people, because the world just carries on ?
Today I also found out that a lovely work colleague died yesterday.
We think he took his own life.
Life feels rubbish at the moment.
I know it will ease.
However when others understand the irrational behaviour and sadness. It makes the lonliness a bit better.
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Sasquatch, I am so sorry that your partner died suddenly and unexpectedly. You must be so lost without Paul. How blessed you were to have 38 years with the love of your life and the loss is indescribable. We understand. We are there.
We are numb, sad, lost, confused, tired, sleepless, losing weight, lonely, forgetful, scared, and just walking in a never ending fog finding it difficult to form sentences. No single word can express this loss and no one understands but a widow or widower. Simple fact.
It is okay to break down in front of people. They sympathize with you and are sorry you are so sad.
I have cried once since my husband’s funeral. Once. My life evaporated in a second and I am now living hour by hour, holding on as best I can and trying to take care of all the responsibilities of everything all at once. Although I literally spin in circles, I am afraid to cry as I may not stop and I’ll end up missing something important and getting in trouble with creditors or government. It’s just me, no one is coming to put the broken bits together, and I am scared.
Much love.
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Stay strong @PeachesDixon, you’ve helped many people on this site with your strength and wisdom (and your ‘do 5 things a day’ mantra). No-one can be strong all of the time I know, but you will find your inner strength to carry on, even on the bleakest of days. Xx
I agree Jacqui. The nights, are especially har, not helped by the season. Sorry for your loss too.
I also agree with the tiredness.
One day at a time. Make your own pace.
Sleep if you can, and feel tired.
Hugs