Griefing my parents

Finding the loss unbearable…miss them so much and sorting their possessions is horrible… all feels like a nightmare


Hello @Hay1

Sorry for your loss. You’re not alone. I lost mum in Nov and Dad this Jan. I’ve started this grim task and its totally heartbreaking. And you just don’t know what you will find. Its awful.

Reach out if you want to chat

Sending hugs and strength :people_hugging: Rob x

I struggled going back to the house but the other night I did take the washing and clothes she had on that day and the PJ’s etc she was wearing when she died. That’s as far as I got! I’ve washed them although I was scared I’d then be washing her snell off and I’d forget it!! I couldn’t bring myself to wash her dressing gown that’s still lying on the bed :cry::heart:


I lost dad 4yrs ago and have been mums carer ever since.we grew so close .seeing each other day in day out. The problem i have is dont feel like i properly grieved dad because i was taken up caring for.mum… now mums gone as well i feel like im grieving both of them and cant work out what life looks like now…


I know this one @Titch7674

I have dad’s jumper and mum’s nighty. Also her scarf with her perfume on. I haven’t been able to spray her perfume yet as the smell sends me into floods of tears. I may vaccume pack them to retain the smell.

So hard. I found dad’s tatty old tape measure in his car, I have that as well as it smells of his paint (he was a decorator). So triggering.

I have managed to donate some of mum’s items. Dad’s is far too raw still.

Smell creates such powerful emotions.

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My dad died 9 weeks after mum (Jan 24). I was the mad the other day as we’re all consumed about dad it feels like we’re losing mum’s memory in the middle of it. And it’s so difficult to unpack all the emotions.

Both are so raw I’m sure it’ll hit me soon.

Dad’s funeral is at the end of the month so I guess the healing starts then?

It was a bad day today. I felt so lost without them.

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Just taking one day at a time… i have the love of my brother and sisters abd we are all busy sorting the estate… im just scared of when its all done…i hope everything goes ok for you…

Reading all your posts on the grief you are experiencing is so sad but it’s also really helped me to know I am not alone in how I am feeling . I wanted you all to know that.

I have lost both my parents in very quick succession of each other and I too feel like I am either suffocating or drowning. It’s hard to know how this time will pass and how I will ever be able to talk about them without crying and feeling so sad.
My only comfort is that they are with each other somewhere. They had been married for 66 years when Dad died - I think my Mum just couldn’t navigate life without him.
I talk to them a lot, either in my head, or out loud. I have also surrounded myself with things of theirs that give me happy memories - it vaguely helps.
I never really understood grief - now I really do.


I’m so sorry for your loses. Sending uou strength and a virtual hug :people_hugging:

It’s the worst isn’t it. I lost my mum in Novemeber 23 and Dad just 4 weeks ago. It’s his funeral next weeks and I’m deverstated. We were really close and I’m so lost without them. I console myself they are together, but it doesn’t hurt any less. Dad was sudden and I wasn’t prepared. Losing both parents has been the worse thing to happen.

This forum has helped. Made me feel less alone. But I’m scared about the future. Never feeling myself again. I’ve had to become mum and dad to my brothers.

Having a hard time this morning. They are all I think about.

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Hello - I totally identify with everything you are feeling - it’s so hard isn’t it?
I feel disbelief that my parents are just not here anymore. I was so unprepared to lose my mum, it was sudden, brutal and unavoidable. It makes me feel guilty as dad was surrounded by love and care during his last few weeks, I feel like mum was just taken.
I am a coupe of months further into this new life than you, it does change. It’s not so raw, but I also still feel unable to work out how to move forward and be truly happy again.

I hope your day improves - I find fresh air and talking to them (in my head or out loud) really helps me :blush:

i feel tbe same too, i lost my dad quite younger and I was my mum carer and losing her last december was hard and still is. it feels almost surreal like doing her funeral was final for me and im still trying to get my head around it as i was very close to my mum. its not easy but i hope your having good support around you during this difficult time in your life

Hi. I’ve just joined this website and I’m not to sure how it works so I apologise if I’m not aloud to just message people out of the blue. I’m just sat at home all alone and your message resonated with me so I wanted to chat. Are you there?

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Hello there
I am very new to this as well so I also don’t really know how it works, apart from being able to chat to people who are experiencing the same grief.
I find it very hard to face what I’m really feeling as I often think I’m only just holding myself together. I am so sorry for you for your loss too.

I have the blanket that my dad has over him when he died. Afterwards my mum wanted it so she could smell him. Then she died - at night I just wrap the blanket around me and it makes me feel closer to them. I agree to be able to smell them is very powerful


Thankyou so much for the reply to all i lost my cat as well my companion … trying to be strong it aint easy at the moment feel like im being tested…sorry about your dad i hope ypur vetting through ok and have plenty of love and support


Hello sam dont feel alone,im always here for an ear … the grief is horrendous and leaves this massive void .that no-one can fill … but talkibg helps sending you love and comfort