I lost my mom on 16th December 25 and it’s hurting so much my heart is ripped apart 
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Dear Benday,
I’m so very sorry for your loss and it is such early days for you in your grief. There are no words that will take that pain away right now but know that you are not alone in this space. I have found grief rather scary at times, an unknown quantity you might say. Just be really kind to yourself and take it hour by hour and day by day. Your pain is a symptom of the love you have felt for your mom and still feel. Thinking of you 
Thank you so much I dont know we’re to turn it feel so confused
It sounds like you are having a very tough time and it might help to talk to someone about how you feel. There is a lot of support out there if you need it, but only when the time is right for you. The GP is often a good starting point. They can signpost you to the support you need