My father died in 2021 and my mother just left for dementia care 500 miles away near my sister. I had been living with, and caring for, my parents since 2013. I literally moved back into my childhood bedroom. Now, in order to pay for my mom’s care my sister is selling the house. I moved into this home when I was 8. I just recently turned 49. My name and tiny handprint are on the concrete walkway (put there when I was 10), I was the first person in the swimming pool my parents put in and this home holds endless memories and nostalgia. My father, a landscaper and gardener, planted lush grasses, rose gardens, palm trees and numerous fruit trees. I am overwhelmed with the grief of losing my parents and now my beloved childhood home. Cleaning it out is agonizing and I just walk around crying. Has anyone else experienced this? I know people say “it’s just a house” but it’s so much more to me. It is my home and sacred safe space. I’m just feeling like I’d rather die in that house than deal with all this grief of letting go.
Thanks for reading. 
Aww yes I can understand because like you I had to clear out my childhood home approx one year ago when my mum passed in Dec 2022. I kept the house for over a year but it had to be sold in the end.
So do you have anywhere to live now ?
It’s such a shame when houses have to be sold for care fees.
Am thinking of you
Deborah x
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Thank you so much. Your kind words and understanding mean so much. How did you deal with the overwhelm of stuff to clear?
Hi,
Luckily I brought almost all of her furniture back to my house. I sorted things by bagging lots of things at her house and being them back to my house to do whenever I felt strong enough to do it. At her house it was too painful. So first I emptied her three wardrobes in three bedrooms.Then I tipped everything from draws and cupboards from upstairs into boxes and brought it all back here.b That way the bedrooms all looked the same in the beginning.
I did the same downstairs. Whilst at home I started making room for mums furniture as it was so lovely. I started with bringing back her wardrobes and found places for them here and her clothes were all back in her wardrobes.
Luckily I have spare rooms downstairs so stored my old furniture there and put mum’s things in my lounge as she had recently bought new furniture.
My son bought a flat so needed lots of things so that helped so he had many of her things as she had bought all new beds etc in the past two years and nothing had really been used.
When the house went on the market I left all the furniture in the house as it sold quicker when viewers saw it like that. It sold the same day it went on the market I only removed her personal things and every draw etc was empty
I removed the bulky furniture in stages. First everything upstairs. Then downstairs at the last minute so when I walked in it still looked the same.
I have neighbours and friends some keepsakes and had to take a few boxes of things I didn’t want to the charity shop. I got someone to take them for me so it didn’t upset me.
My husband cleared the shed and tidied up the garden.
I personally just wanted my husband and I to sort the house. I couldn’t bear other people coming in and looking through things. So everything was dealt with very privately.
I even emptied the house when neighbours were in work , put things in the car when it was dark etc. It was important to me that mum’s treasured belongings were not on display too much as people can be so nosey.
Take your time clearing the house. It will be very hard and there will be lots of tears. But do it slowly and put yourself first. When it gets too much stop.
You will get through it.
Deborah x