I’ve had a really rough couple of years, with a lot of tough things happening and have managed to cope. Back in December, my last day of my first term at university, I found out my oldest friend of ten years had taken his life. I went to his funeral in good spirits, but I really realised he died afterwards and spent the night dry heaving in my bathroom. My grades are flunking, and I was a great student before university. My grades are flunking and I can’t go back to my dorm room because the last time I was in there I found out he died. I was meant to be back at university three days ago. Wondering if I’m maybe grieving too hard? No one around me as experienced loss like this and didn’t know him, I have no one to talk to about this. I know many people on here have experienced much more devastating loss, but I’m wondering if this is normal? I’m worried that his loss has been the straw that breaks the camels back. I genuinely have no idea what to do with this feeling, and wondered if any of you feel the same? Thank you so much x
Hello @Imahni,
I’m Seaneen, and I can see you’re new to the community. I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. It sounds like you had a very special friendship and it’s completely understandable that you’re struggling.
I’m sure someone will be along to share their thoughts. In the meantime, you might find these resources helpful.
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Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide offer support to people over 18 who have been affected by suicide. They have a supportline on 0300 111 5065 and run support groups nationally.
Does your university have a mental health support service, or counselling, that you could access? If so, it might be a good idea to contact them. You don’t have to cope with this alone.
I really hope you find the community to be a support to you too. Please keep reaching out 
I agree with Seaneen you need to talk to someone. Student support should be able to put you in touch with a counsellor or a bereavement support group.
Your time at university is precious, your grades are important. You must make them aware of what your going through.
Good luck, I’m sure there will be some that can help.
Thank you 