My mom died just over 7 weeks ago suddenly and it was traumatic. I am now back at work fully and I just feel like no one really cares or is helping me. My head is not in a great place and functioning is a struggle. I got given a load of work yesterday, stuff that is going to take me a lot of time and processing. They just do understand how broken I am just because I am not. Crying mess at work. I work on my own. No one else does my job and I have had 7 line-manages in 5 years so no consistency. I work in a high school, was off the first week of term and when I went back I found out I had someone new got report to. So I am going through this hell of grieving and no one to give me any proper support. All I am doing is showing up at work, I can do no more. They are just worried about Ofsted because they haven’t done work they should have done relating to my role.
They bang on about well being. But I don’t feel they understand how I am. I live with depression and anxiety, I feel so sad as I miss my mom so much.
Sorry you are going through this. I work in school, primary, but understand the pressures and having just gone through Ofsted, I understand that anxiety too.
I’m not suggesting going off sick but could you suggest that if they don’t help you, then you may have to go sick or could they refer you to occupational health, although I know you can refer yourself?
May be worth seeing your line manager but having a plan. If you’re not classroom based , could you work from home some days? 7 weeks is no time at all, take it easy.
Thank you so much for replying. I am not classroom based, but a lot of my work is 1:1 with pupils. I work as a careers officer. I had 2 weeks on reduced hours and 3 weeks phased return. But had no support with either. Just muddled through. I break up next week so holding out for that. They talk the talk about wellbeing and my new line manager leads the well being stuff. But they don’t really follow through. I met with the CEO the other week about it all & reduced some of my hours at the other school where I work to give me some head space. But that means I take a hit with ny wages.
I have never felt grief like this. I am trying hard to be present at home, my kids have lost their Nan who they loved so much. I mean they are 22 & 23, but even so. It was the hardest thing I had to tell them. It broke me. I miss her so much.
I too have struggled with the lack of an employer fully understanding the grief process. The loss of my father and my Aunt , then my mother having serious illness lead me to experience brain fog. Could not concentrate . I have never felt so lost. People think your fine ? No offering of bereavement counselling ? Just trying to move to a less stressful job Hoping in New year sadness will lift.
That’s such a lot for you to cope with Fatcat. The brain fog is awful, I hope you are able to find some bereavement support. Look after yourself.