Hi my boyfriend of 5 years lost his grandad who died of cancer on Thurs 4th April and hasn’t been showing any signs of grieving, won’t even talk about it. This is first time someone close to him has died since being together so i dunno what to do but he doesnt like to talk about his feeling much so I left him and told him I was here if ever he needed…
It is now 11 days later and he tells me it’s his funeral in 10 days and still nothing, he seems in himself a lot and I’m worried about him and dunno how best to aprouch the subject…
I ask if he wants me at the funeral, he says he doesn’t see why as I never met him but I want to be there for him as I worried about him…
I need of advice and help!!
Hi Lucie,
I’m so sorry to hear that your boyfriend has lost his grandfather and seems to have shut down emotionally. How have things been since your post? Has he opened up any more?
People react to grief in many different ways, and it is definitely not unusual for someone to feel numb or disconnected from their emotions. Talking about grief can be really important to help people cope, but, unfortunately, you can’t force him to talk to you. It sounds as though you are doing your best to be supportive and have given him the opportunity to talk when he feels ready.
We have this article on coping with bereavement, which explains some of the reactions that your boyfriend might be experiencing: https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/someone-close-to-me-has-died/advice-and-support/how-can-i-cope-with-bereavement
Marie Curie also has this information on how to support a bereaved person, which you may find helpful: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/bereaved-family-friends/dealing-grief/supporting-a-grieving-family-member-or-friend