Grieving for a friend

Losing a friend
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Hi. I recently lost a best friend to cancer and found myself grieving for the first time for someone who isn’t a family member which has taken me by surprise. I feel at times very overwhelmed by it all and I accept I have to let the the grieving do what it has to do. Is there anyone else who has grieved for someone outside of their family? Thankyou. Willis

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Hello @Willis,

Thank you for reaching out - I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. We have members who have also experienced the death of a friend - if you tap the little magnifying glass you can search for conversations about this. You can also click this link to read them

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help you right now.

Take good care - you are not alone.

Seaneen

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Hi Willis, yes i am. I’ve lost my best friend who i’d known 35 yrs. 33 of those years we shared a place together & the last 12 i was her full time carer. We had so much fun & bounced off one another very well. She was my rock & kept me grounded. It’s hard now i’m without her. She passed away suddenly & we had no warning. For me it was very traumatic & i still suffer flashbacks of it. I hope you have some support out there. Take care x

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I lost my best friend of 54 years in December, a sudden and unexpected death. I think I went onto autopilot until now. It would have been his birthday at the beginning of the month, and his daughter got married on the 12th. This has triggered an unleashing of emotion. People seem to assume you get over a friend’s death more quickly than a blood relative. It is absolutely not true for me. I feel isolated and utterly bereft. I have a loving partner but even he seems to think I should be ok now. I am just getting by, each day. Today was the first time a friend asked if I was ok and I said “No, not really”. The brave face is cracking. I think you should be kind to yourself and be thankful you had such a good friend in your life. Remember the good times.

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I’m very greatful for such a great friend, a one off & i know how lucky i am to have had that. Will never have that again but as we all know, that makes the loss harder to bare but wouldn’t change anything. Except of course bring her back.

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Hi willis
I am also grieving my best friend who passed 4 months ago although she wasn’t family she was my family she was part of my life for so long .

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Hi Acc123, not at all easy eh? Tiday would’ve been my best friends birthday & it hasn’t been easy.

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HI scamp 1
Must have been a hard day for you i am taking each day as it comes if i break down so be it its a bonus if i get through the day without crying
I got my besties birthday wednesday my besties daughter wants to go for a meal to remember her mum it is still very raw to me i struggle everyday

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Abc123, i can empathise & feel your pain. I know tonight we’d have been having a Chinese takeaway. She always loved having that on her birthday. You just have to take each day as it comes. I hope you start to feel a little better soon. Not easy, i do know that. Take care.

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How have you found going places were you and your friend went together ?

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Mixed emotions to be honest. Couple of places i just can’t go back to. Others i do/ have & yes we had happy fun times there which is a lovely memory but also i’m upset at times cos she isn’t with me & the though there will be no new memories made with her. It just isn’t the same going out on my own. We’d chat, laugh, buy things & that doesn’t happen now. I miss her very much.