Grieving for my mum

My mum passed away on the 20th of April and we had her funeral on the 28th of April I lived with my mum all of my life its one of the hardest thing redone how do you cope my mum said to me if she ever went I have to live my life im trying to we have just got her ashes and one of the hardest of thing is her things I don’t know what to say about this it was a complete shock I was sent a white feather I know its from my mum telling me not to worry it was also a comfort to me any body else was given something by a loved one who as passed

Hello Lesley,
finding heart breaking to read your message. I can relate to some of the pain you are feeling. I hope that white feather is a comforting sign for you. I have read that a white feather represents love from the ‘next world’ I have not had any such messages though I am desperate to receive something like that as reassurance that my mother is OK? if that makes sense. I am now slipping into a new genre of books that I normally would not read, about spirituality, the afterlife, angels (Lorna Byrne, Theresa Cheung, et al) and the likes. I swallow most of it with healthy scepticism, but I wish there would be a sign of some sort. Probably I am looking too hard. if these text are right then we will be reunited with our loved ones…that is the only thing that keeps me plodding on.
I lost my mother last November. I am 53 and lived with her as her carer. so far I am just slogging through with the routine of existing…one day fine, then the next like a blob of jelly. Being on my own it is not easy to off load my anxiety, sadness and emptiness that all goes to readily with grief. is there anyone for you?
Be gentle with yourself from now on in. Let the tears flow in bucketfuls if you can…it is normal, healthy and healing. Eat well and try and sleep well.