I’m so sorry to hear to hear about the death of your father and that you couldn’t go to his funeral due to the pandemic and living in a different country. The isolation of lockdown, and the impact on people being able to attend funerals or say their goodbyes has created an added layer to so many people’s grief.
It sounds as though you are feeling really alone at the moment and I hope it helps even a tiny bit to have joined this site and be able to read posts from others in similar situations. Hopefully you will get some further replies to your post soon but, in the meantime, I just wanted to point you in the direction of some conversations that might be relevant to you.
@FelixtheCat posted Mum died and I live abroad
@ALR1 posted Losing my Dad in lockdown
@Lauren505 posted Losing my Dad in lockdown