Grieving mum

I unexpectedly lost my mum a little over a month ago. She was in a terrible car accident and died instantly. She was only 50. Saw her for the last time 4 days before, and didn’t manage to speak to her on the phone during that time. I just want to hear her voice again and tell her all the exciting things that are happening to me and hear how excited and happy she is for me.
We weren’t best friends and we were never that close, but she was still my mother and we still cared for eachother and I’m just finding it so hard to continuing with normal life while I’m feeling so sad and hopeless.
Everyday I wake up and have the sudden realisation that this is my life. My mum is dead and I’m constantly sad and can’t do anything about it. And I hate it. I’m tired of the grief and sadness and just want to go back to normal and live my life like I used to but I can’t. Every time I feel like I’m finally making progress and grief is becoming less and less overwhelming, it all snaps back and I go down a crying spiral and can’t go on with my day.
I’m in therapy and have amazing supportive friends and an incredible girlfriend who are there for me and try their hardest to help, but they don’t get it. We’re only 22 and none of them have lost a parent. Sometimes I resent how they don’t know what this pain feels like and that they still get to talk to their parents and will most likely get to see them grown old.
I just want to know - when does it get better?


Hello @clara20 ,

I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your mum that brings you here.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.

Another place that may be of help and support is Road Peace - who offer support for people injured or bereaved by a road crash 0845 4500 355

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


Hi Clara,

That’s really awful to have lost your mum so young :broken_heart:. But do we ever really lose our parents? My dad is in my heart forever. He made me. I am him. He is the most important man in my life: past, present and future.

Life can be terribly unfair, and I have realised this at the age of 39. At 22, you should still be protected from it.

I have 2 friends who have lost a loved one, but they have been much less of a help to me (even though they’ve tried) than my best friend who hasn’t lost a loved one (except for her grandparents to old age) but who knows me inside and out. So, just keep your friends and girlfriend close, and continue to post on here :yellow_heart:.

Hi Clara,

When I read about your story, it made me terribly sad. I lost my mom 6 months back and I am 25, I had a big setback in my career and I was really low and mom came to help me but I just wasn’t feeling to talk with anyone after few months when she was well and had no illness, she disappeared within 5 mins and I can understand your pain when a person disappears which leaves you in complete shock. None of my friends or cousins understand who were there for me.

Stay strong Clara. I am sure she must be incredibly proud of you.